News in Brief.

Ellesmere Guardian, Volume X, Issue 882, 24 January 1891, Page 3

News m Brief.

The United States produces 750 million cans o£ tinned meat and fruit a year. Twelve shillings _a cwt. is being paid lor coal at present m certain districts m South Africa. Buffalo has a firm named Irish and English. What is equally curious, Mr. English is an Irishman, and Mr. Irish ig an Englishman. - - The French Minister of War lately offered a'prize for the swiftest birJ m a flight from Perigueux to Paris, 310 miles. There were 2746 entries, and the winner did the distance m 7 hours and ; 14 minutes. The difficulty of expressing one's self m a foreign language is illustrated by the remark of a German girl who : trent to see a fine bov..,laby, and m endeavouring to express her admiration, said : ' Oh, mv ! what a nice fat babee 1 How fat fehe is* don't he 1' My first is a kind of grease ;my second an instrument for flagellating ; my whole a warfoorse. Answer : a ramrod. A ram is a butter, a rod is an instrument of flagellation, and a ramrod is a charger* Note : the author of this is an insurable lunatic. When is white man an African ? When he's a black m (blacking) his Shoes. The Manor of Winchenden (once the estate of tha Duke of Wharton) i 3 situated m a very dirty of the County of Buckingham, whem the soil is a very stiff clay. Colly (Dibber, on a visit to the Duke at that place, and being m the coach with him, said, m his usual assurance, ' It is reported that your grace has run out your estate, but it is impossible for you to run oat of this.' It is relatea of a French painter that, ■wanting to represent the breaking out of nfire m a house, and not having sufficient idea of painting flames, he sent for tfft) 'trusses of straw^ which he set fire ~ "to;"' and' IVegan; verf composedly, his picture. The room was at length all on fire, when the neighbours; came running ; m, and it was not without much difficulty that they ctfuld rouse the painter vffoni hJß ; enthusiasrn. I .'", As a solicitor 'of rather shabby appearance was passing through Kolyweftv jAx^pi with his professional blue bag tinder -bis. arm, he was accosted by a _^ fc - J>y,with to, sell, sir, old clowes !' J TnV' lawyer*, somewhat nettled at this f :; address, from a supposition that Moses .mistook : him for an inhabitant of Houndstlitch, snatched a bundle ol ...... papiers from thcit damask repository and replied, 'No, sir ; they are all new ■■! •" John Griffier, known by the appella tion of ' The Gentleman o.f Utrecht formed the singular resolution of living always upon the sen, and with this de sign he bought a vessel with accommo. d alien for himself, wife, and children He sailed continually along the Dutcl coasr, olwnys m his floating house ; ant m these voyages he painted most beauti " lvi ■■iandscapes and marine views . Hi ,fortutvo proved the inconstancy of hi "" favourite elemant., for he Svas frequentl wrecked, and saw his whole propert twenty miles swallowed op by the merci less waves, without wishing to chang his- mode of life. ■; Tt is said there are seven chance 1 ' agairst even the most simple dish bein presented to the mouth :in absolute pc: fection ; for instance^ take a leg of mv ton. Firsf, the mv ton must be good second, it i..uVt have been kept son time ; third, it must be roasted at a gpc fire ; fourth, by a good cook ; fifth, wl must be m a good temper : sixth, wii ; all this felicitous combination you mv have good luck ; and seventh,- go< \. appetite. The meat and the; mopt which are to eat it must be ready f f \ : ;actipn atjthesame moment, ' J ]t 'Oh 1' said a poor sufferer to a dentil 'that M the second wrong tooth you' puifed 4>ut V ' Very sorry, sir,' said t ¥* y operatqr^^ut as there we *#' omf =^cc wben^HejßaP, I'm sure to right.next time.' • ■■/. A cobbler at Leyden,| who us*ed attend the public disputations held the academy, was once asked if understood Latin. * No,' he replu 1 but I know who' has the worst of argument.' ■%,' How?' inquired his frier ,'Whyi seeing who first (yets angry.' ' I^^- erman writrr observes, ma 1 1 Wdime oj|the social condition of Gn y -I^Britauiy e' 9 SU( * !l a scai'-^y 3 '^thieves iA^^mnd that the Governnv is obliged to offer a reward for tl .uf, )% Ti^d^j^tW frith an unbeara K»sta «apjpeat deal of wit. Li ■A- -'• •, Bat,h, "saying- to her m one of her passic your tempe ..! , pbe . replied, < Keep my temper I -7{?:V '^(iMWKiMVjM I wonder ;