MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 1081, 12 January 1883, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

Some leviathan scoring was done nt Ballarat very recently. A team from Colic scored only 48, and tho Ballaratarians atnmassed the groat total of 427 tor three wickets. Percy Lewis contributed 138, Coulsell 123, and W. H. Figgis 107 (not out). Arabi Pasha’s tent, which was captured at Tel el-Kobir, is at Portsmouth. It is a very gorgeous affair, lined with silk and oramented with bullion. It is closely guarded as one of the most interesting trophies of the Egyptian campaign. An eccentric Spaniar' died in Spain recency, consigning his twelve-year-old daughter to the care of a colored blacksmith of Koekuk, lowa, U.S., of which place tbe Spaniard was a former resident By his will he leaves 70,000d0l to the negro and 400,000d0l to the daughter entrusted to him. A delightful instance of mixed metaphors, almost too good to he true, is given in a Law Manual recently published by a gen. tleman in Japan for the use of Japanese students. Learned counsel—“ This man, gentlemen of jury, walks into Court like a motionless statue, with the cloak of hypocrisy in his mouth, and his attempting to screw three large oaks out of my client’s pockets.” An English banker lately received a cash remittance, with a letter explaining that it was the amount of a sum paid by -mistake to the writer over the bank counter, with interest from the date of the payment. The ciicnmstanoe ot tho cash being found short on the day named is well rem'mibered in the bank. The deficiency was L2O. It now appears that the individual had got the money he wanted in gold, and suddenly bethinking himself that he would require L2O in silver, aske : for it, but forgot to refund the gold. Theie was a pressure of business at the moment, and it somehow escaped the attention of the cashier that he had not got back the sovereigns. Even when the deficiency was discovered this was never thought of as poasib'e explanation. It was after the delinquent got out of the bank that it fl shed upon nis mind i hat ho hail gob L2O too much. The “ Devil,” he says, “got the better of me.” A Presbyterian minister of some notoriety is credited wi'h having once told tbe following anecdote “ I never laughed in tbe pulpit but on one occasion, and that came near procuring my dismissal from he ministry. About one of the first discourses I was called on to deliver, subsequent to my ordination, after reading my text and opening my subject, my attention was directed to a young man with a very fop pish dress and a head of exceedingly red hair. In a pew immediately behind this young gentleman, sat an urchin, who must have been urged on in his devilry by the evil one himself, for 1 do not conceive the urchin thought of the jeri he was playing otf on the spruce dandy in front of him. Tbe boy held his forefinger towards the hair of the young man about as long as a blacksmith would hold a wire-rod in the fire, then placed it on his knee, and commenced pounding his finger iu imitation of a smith making a nail. The whole thing was so ludicrous, that 1 laughed ; the only time that 1 disgraced th* pulpit with anything like mirth.” If the following extract from (ho Melbourne letter of a contemporary be correct, there are a good many people who look i n the fact of having been in the trains when the accident occurred as a providential stroke of good luck: — “An eye-witness j who arrived at the scene of the mishap j within a minute of its occurrence tells mo of one instance in which be saw a gentleman emerge from one of tbe carriages of the ! down train and walk off in a fashion which i showed him to he unhurt. Pausing, as if ; sirnok by a sudden inspiration, he surveyed j the scene around him and returning to- j wards Hie spot wheie the wounded oocu- ! pants of the train were beginning to as- i somble. deliberately, assumed a recumbent position. When assistance came he professed to be una' le to move, and groaned 1 u lly while being placed in a cab to bo convened to bis private residence. When I he proper time arrives it will no doubt be found that this ‘unfortunate victim of official blundering ’ is snff. ring from loss of memory,” ‘severe shook to the system,’ ‘intense nervousness,’ or some other of the mysleriius symptoms that excite the generosity of sympathetic juries when dealing with the public money, anil that a few hundr; ! s or even thousands are required to heal his bodily and mental infirmities.” In one of the oases heard at the Outram Court lately a saw was disputed about and one of the witnesses, a boy, swore that be was carrying the saw on his shoulder when, suddenly, withmt striking it against anything, a jump of the saw “fell iff itself,” and that was how it got broken. The Magistrate didn’t say anything, but he opened his eyes and gave a look as much as to say “ That’s a whopper, anyhow,” No halt-measures about that boy. ho went in for a “ good un” when be was about it. According to the London Lancet, funerals may he, and often are, disease breeders. It cites a case where diphtheria, by means ot a funeral where there was a great crowd, was spread broadcast through a community, tine hundred and forty three physicians iu England, out of 400 inquired of, gave reports justifying their belief that tbe spread of diphtheria may result from public funerals, and the Suffolk Medical S iciety have recommended that m cases of death from diphtheria the funerals be held privately. A not uncommon weakness is hit off in the following anecdote riven by a humorous writer in the Australasian “At a recent sale of first-class furniture there was amongst otter* effects, a handsome liqueur stand. An auctioneer, looking over the articles het.re the sale with the eye of an expert, said to a friend, ‘That’s worth five pounds, but no doubt some precious fool of a woman will give ten for it.’ On going home in the evening he found Hie liqueurstand on his table, and his wife claimed his congratulations on her having secured it for £l2. He said nothing, but thought a good deal. Cetewayo is said to he thinking of publishing his dairy in England. The following is a leaf :—“ Went to Woolwich. Saw some big guns, also models of big ships. More big guns ; more big ships. Band played Gosaavathcqneen. Smooth-bored. Dined with Lord Corlett and Pinkuns. Whisky. Plate of fried toothpicks ; picked my tooth with one. Told it was fish called whitebait. Called for black bait. Offered two cows for Gubbins. More whisky. More Gossavethequeen. To bed in my boots. England is a great country.” A married lady slipped and fell, breaking an arm and sustairing some severe scalp wounds. Her husband was asked next day how his wife was getting a'ong. “ Well,” he repliel, “ the doctor pronounces her out of danger, bnt says that she will have to remain very quiet for a long time. On tho whole 1 think her condition is gratifying ” “So you saw my poor husband when he died?” said a Shepherd’s Bush lady to a man who had ju-t returned from tbe seat of war. “Yes, madam. I was with him at Tel-el-Kebir. I gave him a drink of water jnst before he died.” “ Did he drink the water?” “Yes.” ‘‘Then it was not my husband. Poor Adolphus George never took water. Yon made a mistake in the man, air,"