DINNER FOR TWO.

Dunstan Times, Issue 1077, 15 December 1882, Page 4

DINNER FOR TWO.

A Vermonter in the United States Besnlars, a tall, lank, red-haired private, named B , who was alwavs in some scrape or other, obtained leave for a day’s shooting, arid v as coming home unsuccessful when he saw a large crow on the tree. To level his gun and fire was the impulse of a moment, and down tumbled the crow almost at his feet. Now. it happened that the crow was a tame one, and a pet of General C , a wealthy landowner in the distrit. A'd it so happened that the General was an unseen witness of the death of his favourite. Enraged at his loss he determined to punish the offender in a vay he was likely to remember. So coming forward in a friendly manner, he nodded to B , who saluted in return. “You’ve got a fine gun there,” said the General, “ that’s just the neatest double-barrelled gun about these diggings.” The General turned the gun round and examined it carefully, when putting the barrel that was still loaded at full cock to his shoulder, and pointing it at B , .paid, “ You have wilfully shot the greatest favourite I had, and now you’ve got to eat it.” B explained, and begged and prayed, hut to no purpose ; the General was nnrn- ved by his entreaties, ancf told him hs must eat or die B one? more turned his eyes piteously tow->r s the General, but the cold, wicked c. e, glancing along the gun barrel con'd;.end him (as he afterwards said) ihat there was tie ia it. So with a groan he picked up the crow, and shutting his eyes, commenced Iris disagreeable meal. He worried down two or three mouthfu's and then stopped, unable to eat more of the disgusting carrion, and the General, th nking he had gone far enough, told him that would do ; and after advising him to be more careful in future what he 'hot, handed him his gun, and told him he could go. As soon as B got his gun in his hands, he turned fiercely on the General, and said, “ It’s mv turn now! You may eat the remainder of the crow.” In vain the G< nmal stamped and swore and prayed to be let, off. B was as (irm as be himself had been a few minutes before. Nothing would satisfy the enraged soldier but that the General should eat the whole of what was left, and which ho had to do before B- —- let him off. The next day the General went to B ’s colonel and complained that he had been grossly insulted by one of his soldiers the day previous. The Colonel inquired what, one “ Why,” said the General, “ 1m was a I tali, lean, ill-favoured f How, with red hair.” “Ha!” said the Colo el, “ I know irn he’s always in some scrape Orderly, bring B here immediately." In a few minutes orderly returned, bringing B , who was •wondering what scrape he was in now. U B /’said f.hn Colonel. “ do yon know this gentleman!” “What]

mol” Ririil B .looking as amazed hs possible “ Yes,” said the Colonel, “do yon know him 1 ” “ Y es i we aro slightly acquainted," srid B . Wo dined together yesterday.” The General could ho’d out no longer, but, bursting into a hearty laugh, asked the Colonel to let him go, as ho heartily forgave him.