MR COVILLE PROVES MATHEMATICS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 1042, 7 April 1882, Page 4

MR COVILLE PROVES MATHEMATICS.

There am men who dispute what they do hoc understand. M r Covillo is such a man. "When he heard a carpenter say that there were so many shingles on the roof of his house, because the root contained so many 'square feet, ’Coville doubted the figures-; and, when the carpenter went away, he -determined to test the matter by going -up •on the roof and counting them. And ho went up there. He squeezed through the wcnttle, —Coville weighs two hundred end thirty,—and then sat down on the roof, .-and worked his way carefully and deliberately toward the gutter. When lie got part way down, he beard a sound between biin and the shingles, and became aware that there was an interference some way in his further locomotion. He tried to turn -over, and crawl back ; but the obstruction held him. Then he tried to move along a liftle, in hopes that the trouble would prove but temporary:; but an increased sound convinced him that either a nail or a sliver had hold of his eloth, and that, if ho would save any of it, he must use caution. His folks were in the house-; and, besides, he didn’t want to attract the attention of the neighbours. So be sat there untH after dark, and thought. It would have been an excellent opportunity to have counted the •shingles ; hut he neglected to use it. His mind appeared to run into other channels. He sat there an hour after dark, seeing no one ho could notify of his position. Then he saw two boys approach the gate from the house, and, reaching there, stop. It ■was light enough for him to see that one of the two was his son- and although he ■objected to .having the other boy know of his misfortune, yet he had grown tired of holding on to the roof, and concluded he -could bribe the strange boy into silence. With this arrangement mapped out, he took out his knife, and threw it so that it would strike near to the hoys and attract their attention. It struck nearer than he -anticipatedin fact, it struck so close as to hit the strange hoy on the head, and nearly brain him. As soon as he recovered his -equilibrium, he turned on Coville’s hoy, v ho, -he was confident, had attempted to shill him, and introduced some astonishment and bruises into his face. Then he threw him down, and kicked him in the side, and banged .him on the head, and drew him over into the gutter, and pounded his legs.; and then hauled him back to the walk again, ■and knocked his head against the gate. A nd, all the while, the elder Coville sat on the roof, and screamed for the police, but -couldn’t get away. And then Mrs Coville -lashed out with a broom, and contributed -a few novel features to the affair at the •gate ; and one of the boarders clashed out -with a double-barrel gun, am 1 , hearing the .d ies from the roof, looked up there,° and ■espying a .figure which was undoubtedly a ‘burglar, drove a -handful of shot into his Ices. With a howl of agony, Covillo made -a plunge to dodge the missiles, freed himself from the nail, lost his hold to the roof, ■ami went sailing down the shingles with -a., ful velocity, both legs spread out, Ins diair on end,and his hands making desperate •but fruitless efforts to save himself He •tried to swear, but was so frightened that lie lost his power of speech ; and, when die passed over the edge of the roof with -twenty feet of tin gutter hitched to him the -boarder gave him the contents of the other ‘barrel, and then drove him into tie house to load up again. The unfortunate -Coville aßtniok into a cherry-tiee, and thence {hounded to the ground, wheie he was recognised, picked up by the assembled neighbors, and carried into the house. A new doctor is making good day wages picking tho shot of its legs. The boarder •hj is gone into ”.e country to spend the sumcner ; and the junior Coville, having sequos- I ■t e. Ed a piece of brick m his handkerchief, is lying low for that other boy. Ho says, that inefnre the calm of another sabbath rests on New England, there will bo another hoy in Jt-mbury who can’t wear a cap, —Danbury