OH, THOSE CURSED ANIMALS! TO THE EDITOR.

Dunstan Times, Issue 990, 8 April 1881, Page 2

OH, THOSE CURSED ANIMALS! TO THE EDITOR.

Sir,— The pretty little town of Clyde has much to be proud of. The community is a prosperous one, we can boast of our splendid climate and our well-drained town, and we cannot complain that we aio a sickly people. But we have our drawbacks ; and as a citizen of Clyde I mint protest against one drawback, and that is the straying of cattle, horses and goats about the streets. Before one can go a dozen yards down the street he is invariably met by a male member cf the goat species or a dozen or so kids. Yesterday one of the said males displayed an energetic desire to introduce, his horns to my— “ tailor." Fortunately for myself, I bethought me of an engagement I had with a fel'ow at the Dunstan Hotel, so I took to my heels and ran. If 1 had rot taken this precaution, that goat would surely have butted my—ray—my exit fails. I would, with all due respect to the force, ask the police if it is not part of their duty fo impound stray cattle. Besides, the infernal row kicked up by the kids is something horrible to listen to. Even while I write three of them are bleating most piteously for their “ Ma-a-a-a-as ” under the window of my sanctum. However, it any one should lore a gnat, and if he should happen to discover that goat lying ns dead as a door-nail in the gutter, ho can lay the murder at this “ chile’s ” door, for 1 shall certainly stone to death every quadruped — be it a goat, a boy, a horse, a book agent, a cow, or a Celestial—that comes within fifty miles of my palatial residence. Besides “ disturbing the public ponce ” and otherwise upsetting the equanimity of good citizens generally, the goats, cows and horses straying about wander towards the race about three times a day, cool their toes in the water, pollute it, stir up the mod, and thou gracefully retire. As the animal* I allude to have no morals or manners, the police must attend to the matter, and impound all stray cattle, dogs and boys. If the police neglect their duty, then (to quote the graphic but verbose language of my friend Simpkins), “ By Jwove, you know, there’ll bo a shine, you know.” Hoping, sir, that my extremely modest request will have its result,—l am, etc,, MA-A-A-A-A.