A WOMAN’S TOAST.

Dunstan Times, Issue 941, 30 April 1880, Page 3

A WOMAN’S TOAST.

Mrs Dunway, of the New North-west, at a literary re-unioa at Salem, Oregon, thus toasted the gentlemen : God bless 'em ; they halve otlr joys ; they double our sorrows ; they treble our expenses ; they quadruple our cares ; they excite our magnanimity ; they increase our self-respect; they awake our enthusiasm ; they arouse our affections ; they control our property ; and out-manosuvre us in everything. This would be a very dreary world without ’em. In fait, I may say, without prospect of successful contradiction, that without ’em it would not be much of a world anyhow. We love ’em, and the dear beings can’t help it; we control ’em, aud the precious fellows don’t know it. As husbands they are always convenient, though not always on hand ; as beaux, they are by no means “ matchhss.” They are most agreeable visitors ; they are handy at State fairs, and Indiapensible at oyster -saloons. They are splen - did as escorts for some other fellow’s wife or sister, and as friends they are better than women. As our fathers they are inexpressibly grand, fie may be a failure in business, a Wreck in constitution, not enough to boast of as a beauty, nothing to speak of as a wit, less than nothing as a legislator for woman's rights, and even not brilliant as a member of the Press ; but if he is our own father we overlook his shortcomings, and cover his peccadilloes with the mantle of charity. Then, as our husband, how we love to parade them as paragons. In the sublime language of tho inspired poet: We’ll lie for them, We’ll cry for them, And. if we could, we’d fly for thorn • We’d do anything but die for them.