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Dunstan Times, Issue 842, 7 June 1878, Page 3

Ono virtue, at any rate. - -There may enmo a time, says an American paper, when everything ba<l of Brigham Young will he for gotten, anti hq will be remembered as the great philanthropist, who buried twentyseven mothers-in-law in a dozen years. The old, old story.- —“ These arc such small poaches,” said the man to the dealer. “ Well, ya-as,” answered the dealer, “they are rather little, but what else can you expect but they would be stunted-like, tailin’ inter ’count the war this year, an’ the hard times, an' the strikes, an’ what not, an’—” This was all the other man stopped to hear of the argument.

Just tired of it.—The last sitter at a private dinner at Edinburgh, who had at length made up his mind that it was time to retire, announced his intention to the butler ; and, fancying that he saw something like a smile on the servant’s he turned gravely round, saying, “Ay, John, I think I’ll go to bod ; but I’m no fou, John mind that-I’m no’the least fou—but I’m just fatigued wi’ drinking !”

A major of the Galway Militia (says the 'Whitehall Review) has an enthusiasm for his branch of the service. In his eyes the militia is the backbone of British military resources, Galway Militia, the cream of the Service, and himself the most efficient officer in the corps. His idiosyncrasy is proverbial even among the lower orders of the district. Not so long ago ho was on the Bench at petty sessions. One Biddy, an old incorrigible, was brought up charged with drunkenness and assault. Said the major, after heating evidence, “Biddy, you’re always coming hero, and the Bench are determined to give you a lesson this time ; the sentence upon you is six months’ imprisonment with hard labour.” Biddy curtseyed. She had recovered her sobriety. “May I spake a word wid the gintlemcn ?” she asked humbly. “You may say wbat you like, Biddy, but I don’t think it will alter our decision.” Biddy cleared her throat. “ Well, gintlomen, I’m dead out o’lnck, I am ; there’s my husband, he’s doin’ seven yearl’ve a brother as has got a twelvemonth, and a son run in for six weeks ; 1 have a sister as is unfortunate, and another as is an out-and-out bad’nu ; but I thank the good God that made me, and the Holy Margin that preserves me, that there was nivir one o’mine had iver anything to do wid the milishy ?” Exit Biddy.