CHINESE MATRIMONIAL AGENTS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 786, 11 May 1877, Page 4

CHINESE MATRIMONIAL AGENTS.

—o — The circumstances related in this ' item are given as literally as possible, and we vouch for their truth in all respects:— \ married lady residing in the city 'was visited recently by a younger and married sister from n neighboring city. An exceedingly aged but remarkably shrewd Chinaman has (or two years been accustomed to visit the house to sell fruit and vegetables. While the sister was a guest it was noticed that younger and very spruce Mongolian males accom panied the e'der heathen. Since the departure of the sister the old Chinaman has been remarkably kind to the members of the household, exhibiting unwonted liberality with bis goods, and insisting upon leaving trifling presents from time to time. A week or two ago this ancient joss-worshipper, presuming upon the familiarity which had gnwu out of his long trading relations with the family, took his ac cnslomed seat in (he wash room of the residence, and thus addressed him self to the house-maid as she was engaged at her laundry work. “ You likee work here, hey 1” “ Oh, yes, very well.” ** How muchee you catehee I’’ “ Fifteen dollars a month, John; why 1” “ You gettee much eat, an—an good loom 1” “ Yes, certainly ; plenty to eat, and a good toom.” “ Say— you—likee mally Chinaman—sahe ?” ‘‘ What! you old—” “ Ye-s-s, one nice young Chinaman, got heep money, yon no work some more; gettee more fifteen dollar month; Chinaman give you one (ousmi dolla. Y-e-e s, Chinaman Sa Flacisco all same now mally Melican woman—Chu Ah Huy, he give Melican woman tree tousand dolla she be wifee ; sahe ? You likee Chinaman your hnsb’n—h-e-y 1 He continued in this strain for some time. The joke was too broad, and (he proposition too ludicrous to listen to long, and the voting woman fled to tell the lady of (he house of the astonishing proposal, which for the next day or two was the standing jest in the family. But a few days afterwards, the grayheaded matrimonial agent found excuse to enter (he dining room, whetc the mis'mss of the household was at work, with her children about her. “ You- slister, she go ’way?” “ Yes, she’s gone home.” Aiter a contemplative pause, he continued—“ S-a a-y (confidentially), she i likes mally one—oh I nice Chinaman ?” j “ Why, John ! you old rascal—” “ ’Top, ’top, yon see all same Meli- j can man, he got wifee; all same { Chinaman, he got Melican wifee—’top, ’top,” as the lady showed signs of anger. “Your s'ister; one young Chinaman, he got heep money; he give your slister tree tous’n dolla she" his! wifee; good housee; him-hy he male’ ! heep more money, she heep dresses—” At this John was told to go about liis business, and that the sister already had a husband and home and did not wish to emulate the white woman in 'San Francisco who manied (he Chinaman. He continued the argument awhile, and set forth the advantages of the offer, and only ceased on peremptory command. But, ye-terday the old rascal returned to the attack in the following manner, as the lady met him in the kitchen door:— “ S-a-a-y," in low tones, “Missis you liusb’n, pretty soon he no catchee so much money like Chinaman. Chinaman he got all wokee, he makes everything, he liny heuse, he buy horsee, he buy store, he buy ’tenm cars—all ffings; he much good. Melican man he no get much any ting ; s-a-a-y, yon sabe? You like mally one velly nice ‘Chinaman now, a'l same Melican wolman Sal Flacisco?” And the o'd Mongol chuckled over his logic a« he unwound a hnef and ragged queue from his grizzled and wrinkled pate, and carefully replaced it in coils again. Greatly amused and moved by curiosity to hear what further the chap had to say, the lady asked him what dower his ambitions principal would accord her if she desalted her white (husband for one of darker lino. “ W-e-l-e, be give you two thonsan’ dolla.” “What, only two thousand ! why, you offered three thousand for my sister.” “ Top, ’top, she heep young woman.” “ Why, John,” interposed the housemaid, “ you offered me only one thousand dollars." “ Oh, tut! tut?—see.” emphasising and counting on his fingers—“ one Chinaman he gotten so much money, he give you one tons’ll dolla you he wife,-site? One more Chinaman he got heep more,ho gliva tree tous’n ‘ her’ u-n-an’ one more Chinaman ac no catcheo so much he give two tons’ll her. Slee” (see). John went on at long'll, from this point, to say that the Chinaman who secured a white wife in San Francisco recently had been congratulated by all his people ; that great numbers of Chinese had lent her presents; that no Chinese women were allowed to visit her; and that she was treated like a queen and lived on the fat of the land, and that, her dower has been raised by the Chinese companies, her husband being poor, adding—* She beep comp’ny ; big Chinaman all go dinner her house ; heep turk’y, heep ehick’n, heep oyster ! •Chinaman make hide, oh ! muchee present ; Chinaman ho muchee proud.

Melican woman Chinaman wife now ! Oh, mncheo present for her alio time, an—a Chinaman heep make bow 'for her. Bimeby she—proud then, eh ? Then all bis Chinaman make her much presents; she no buy anyt’ing.” This last brilliant outlook brought the interview to a sudden close, and John was sent to the “ left about ” quickly —Sacramento Union.