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Dunstan Times, Issue 786, 11 May 1877, Page 3

When Jemima went to school she was asked why the noun bachelor was singular “ Because,” she replied, “it is so singular that they don’t get married.” “ Homo’s the place for boys,” said a stem parent to his son, who was fond of going out at night. “ That’s what I think when you dnveme off to school every morning,” said the son. A young man at Toronto has brought an action against a newspaper for stating that his friends presented him with a valuable meerschaum pipe, when no presentation has been made. When the cold wind blows take care of v< ur nose that it don’t get froze, and wrap your toes in warm woollen hose. The above we suppose was written in prose, by someone that knows to effect the cold snows. Some men are like cats. You may stroke the fur the right way for years, and hear nothing but purring ; but accidently tread on the tail, and all memory of former kindness is obliterated. A Long Sentence.—The longest sentence on record was pronounced by a western judge. He sentenced a murderer to inip isonmcnt, for life, and afterwards added two more years to the sentence because the prisoner called him “no gentleman.”— American paper. According to official statement there is no dearth of recruits for the army ; hut this is hardly endorsed by private report. At a dinner party the other night the point was mooted, and an officer from one of the brigade depots questioned on the subject. “I only know,” he said, “ that in tho last twelve months we enlisted just six men ; two of them proved to be fraudulently enlisted ; one has since deserted ; there is one iii Millbank ; another in the guard-room—-going there, unless his brains are kicked out first; and tho last of all is medically unfit.” Nor is tho quality such as to compensate for lack of quantity. “ Nice soft chaps we’re getting now,” I heard an old recruiting sergeant say. “ They’re that old, and their bones are that stiff, that shuro a statue* roller wouldn’t straighten ’em.”