A NEW MATRIMONIAL GRIEVANCE.

Dunstan Times, Issue 785, 4 May 1877, Page 3

A NEW MATRIMONIAL GRIEVANCE.

—o— Of course there are advantages in having a wife with a glass eye. It confers a certain distinction upon the husband, wives without glass eyes are exceedingly common, but there is not one man in 10,000 who can proudly mention that .he possesses a wife with a glass eye attachment. And yet, in spite of the many apparent advantages which accrue to the husband of a wifejwith a glass eye, there must be more than com" pensating disadvantages ; for a Rochester man has just begun a suit for divorce on the ground that his wife has a glass eve which •inflicts unendurable torments upon him. The chief cause of complaint specified by this unfortunate man is the fact that his wife sleeps with her glass eye wide open. At first sight this may seem a trivial matter, but a little reflection will lead us to deeply sympathize with the aggrieved husband. It is not pleasant for a man to return home from -a political meeting at 2 ■o’clock iu the morning, knowing that however softly he may remove his innumerable boots, or however skilfully he may avoid tumbling over the chairs on which he has •deposited his hats, the sleepless glass eye of his wife will gleam in the light of the two bedroom candies, and follow his wandering movements with a glare. The most sober of men cannot awake in the stillness of the night and feel cjuite at ease when he finds a glass eye watching him as sternly as though its owner knew all about his rash bet on the election of Mr Tilden, and was waiting to hear him explain how a man who had refused to buy a new parlor carpet could justifiably throw away his money in gambling. At any rate, the Rochester husband found that his nerves were rapidly becoming shattered under The constant nocturnal watching to which ha was subjected, and after having tried every possible means to keep his wife’s eye closed, he has now come to lay his woes before an impartial jury. It is to be Sloped in the interest of public morals that the Rochester husband will lose his suit; for if he gains it, our courts will swarm with suitors seeking divorces. If a glass eye is adjudged a sufficient cause for divorce, there would be no reason for refusing to grant a separation to a wife whose husband is guilty of false teeth, or an absolute divorce to a husband whose wife is habitually addicted to a wooden leg. In spite of the fact that this would illustrate the great doctrine of the survival of the fittest, and would tend to prevent glass eyes and wooden legs from becoming hereditary, it would loosen the marriage tie toan extent which no thoughtful man can contemplate without serious alarm.—New York Times.

A Philadelphia ’woman swore that her husband’s conduct was enough to “ irrigate an angel.” “ Can you spell donkey with one letter?” asked a young man of a bright girl. “Yes," she answered, “u.” Of all the various methods proposed for the reduction of postage none are so practical as this—Get married ! The following may suggest caution in the handling and ■‘Storage of what appears to be a very dangerous material“ Within three years, 1 says the Commercial Bulletin, “there have been three shops destroyed in Massachusetts through lampblack. A hand damp with perspiration, a drop of water, a bit of grease, or a sprinkle of oil will create a combustion which will start the lampblack aglow like charcoal, and so ignite the package, and hence the blaze. In lampblack factories, while great precaution is taken to prevent fires, a rainy or sharp frosty day Will start a dampness upon the inside of a window-pane, and the flying particles of dust lighting upon this create a spark, which, communicating with the pile, may send a glow of fire with wonderful rapidity through the galleries of the shop.” Advice to Mothers !- -Are you broken n your rest by a sick child suffering with he pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a hemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly harmless and pleasant to taste, it produces natural quiet sleep, by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes “as bright as a button.” It soothes the child, it softens the gums, allays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best known remedy for dyssentery and diarrhoea whether arising from teething or other causes. Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup is sold by Medicine dealers everywhere at Is lid per bottle. Manufactured at 493 Ox-ford-street, London,