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Dunstan Times, Issue 763, 1 December 1876, Page 3

Stanley’s motto—Nile Desperanclnm. A Dublin doctor says “ fatal cases of sunstrobe cannot bo cured.” “Land of the iles”—A complimentary notice of a petroleum company. When is a bargain like a lover’s parting ? —When it’s a good-buy at the dooi. The mystery of the hash is that it cannot be made plain without mincing matters. A woman who makes a practice of borrowing a quart of milk, usually makes a pint of returning it, A man in Oswego recently had one hundred and twenty-five pounds of Warts taken off his hands. A young man named Wright married her. Winker does not know whether the magistrates are early risers or not, hut he was up before a magistrate twice last week. “ Where is the East ?” inquired a tutor one day of a very little pupil. “ Where the morning comes from,” was the prompt and pleasant reply. The youngest couple known once resided in Now York State. The tombstone says : “They were born, and they died and were buried on the same day. -- A little girl was asked what was the moaning of the word happy. She replied : “ It is to fed as if you wanted to give up all your things to your little sister.” 1 ‘ What is the difference between a tradesman who uses false weights, and a highwayman?” The tradesman lies in weight, while the other lies in wait. Nothing pleases a fly so much as to he mistaken for a huckleberry, and if he can be baked in a cake and pass himself off upon tho unwary as a currant, bo dies without regret.