Untitled

Dunstan Times, Issue 746, 4 August 1876, Page 3

Advice to Mothers .'—Are you broken in your rest by a sick child suffering with the pain of cutting teeth ? Go at once to a chemist and get a bottle of Mrs. Winslow’s Soothing Syrup. It will relieve the poor sufferer immediately. It is perfectly hamless and pleasant to taste, it produces natural quiet sleep, by relieving the child from pain, and the little cherub awakes “ as bright as a button.” It soothes the child, it softens the gums, allays all pain, relieves wind, regulates the bowels, and is the best known remedy for dysentery and diarrhoea, whether arising from teething or other causes. Mrs Winslow’s Soothing Syrup is so'd by Medicine dealers everywhere at Is lid per bottle. Manufactured at 493 Oxord Street, London.

A widow, occupying a large house in a fashionable quarter of London, sent for a wealthy solicitor to make her will, by which she disposed of between fifty and sixty thousand pounds. He proposed soon after, was accepted, and found himself the happy husband of a penniless adventuress. ‘ Where were you yesterday, you rascal ?’ said a country pedagogue to one of his pupils. ‘ 1 was out in the fields alone.’ ‘Well, but what were you doing in the fields, sir—picking berries ?’ ‘ No, sir; I was out alone, myself.’ ‘But what were you doing ?’ ‘ I was meditating.’ ‘ Meditating upon what.’ ‘ I was meditating upon what I’d bo when 1 got to be grow’tl upprinter, lawyer, doctor, or schoolmaster, and took the fields for it.’ ‘ Brave boy ! what was your conclusion V ‘ I thought as how I’d be a schoolmaster—they live easy, and I like to give thrashings.’ Pat (who has been knocking some time at the counter of a public house) addressing barmaid when she comes hi. ‘Do you sell your whiskey by measure darlin’ ’’ Barmaid : ‘Yes, sir.’—Pat : ‘Bo gorra, an’ I thought it was by wait ; I’ve been waiting till the thurrost’s quite left me !’ A rich contractor holding forth upon the instability of the world. ‘ Can you account for it, sir ?’ he said, turning to Sam Foote, ‘ Well, not very clearly,’ he responded, ‘ unless we suppose it was built by contract.’