WAYS TO WEDLOCK.

Dunstan Times, Issue 696, 20 August 1875, Page 4

WAYS TO WEDLOCK.

- -o There are two ways to wedlock, of which social economists complain ; the ollo through impulse, leading to inconsiderate nia Eager, of which the hasty lovers are soonest to repent ; and the other through policy, loading to discord and wretchedness, whore the heart always lands when it barters itself for other fliaira heart consideration. But these ways so largely travelled, arc not to he Blocked by more or less statutes, nor by any arbitrary ruling; whatever. Human experience has proved that the best preventive of their being still more largely travelled, is the very evil and misery they engender. Beyond legalising marriage, and empowering parents and guardians rightfully to restrain minors, laws are of very little use. In what spirit and with what fitness persons shall marry—whether upon long or short love, or no love at all—the parties directly concerned must judge for themselves. The -chief blessings or evils of marriage are to‘be enjoyed and borne by the wedded ; and as theirs is the doom, let them he tire choosers of it. But if we were to give an opinion as to which of the above ways is the most thorny and ruinous, we should say the way of policy. The way of impulse is, for a time at least, the way of the heart, but seldom or-never docs-the heart follow policy. It cannot be “contracted for,” like a hale ■of goods, by guardians and officious friends; and, though thousands of marriages are the fruit of a nice balancing of the chances of fortune and social position, the parties to the unholy traffic are not wedded according to the only true, binding law—of love. The “upper circles” of society show abundant proof of this. Beyond question, the education and habits of both sexes are falser on this than on any other subject of social interest. Instead of consulting the head as well as the heart, and basing affection upon respect—which requires substantial qualities to inspire it —and a thorough comprehension of the relative qualities of character, taste, temperament,'and habit, thousands, under the impulse of a feeling more sensuous than spiritual, rush together, whirl with velocity in the little round of a honeymoon, and awaken to find their love consumed in the slacking fire of animal passion. These are “friction” matches, whose frizzle and smoke indicate where they were made. Mercenary matches, all calculation and prudence and no heart, are the regular “ lucifers,” which in nine cases out of ten will smell horribly of the pit where they were manufactured, as long as life last. Marriage is the very chief of human social concerns. To contract or enter upon it without the fullest approval of heart and head, is to peril the peace and happiness of two lives. Common consent has apotheosized wedlock, when pure and true, as the heaven of human love and the paradise state of man and woman on earth. As to its being a good thing and the best, there is no question about it - -the only question is how to bring the world of men and women to mate themselves in accordance with the divine economy and harmony, so visible in relations of all lower orders of being. In marriage, as in almost everything else, man is the only creature who goes after his fate haphazard and headlong, hence his travail with ill-fortnne, suffering and sorrow. Let him be as wise in wedlock as he is in dealing with his tradefellows, and the prime source of his life-troubles-will disappear.