MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 696, 20 August 1875, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A Brooklyn paper is of opinion that a kind word will always go further than a flat iron, “Shon,”aaid a Dutchman, “you maysay what you please pout pad neighbors. I have ta vorst neighbors as ever was. Mine pigs mine hens com’ home mit dere cars split; and todder day two of them came home missing.” To make a good broil: Leave a letter from one of your old sweethearts where your wife can get it. A wag thus eulogiss his musical attainments—“l know two tunes, the one is ‘ Auld LangSyno,’ the other isn’t ; 1 always sing the latter.” Aberdeen Scotch. An English clergymen and a Lowland Scotchman visited one of the best schools in Aberdeen. They were strangers, but the master received them civilly and inquired, “ Would you prefer that [ should speer these boys, or that you should speer them yourselves ?” The English clergyman having ascertained that to speer meant to question, desired the master to proceed. He did so with groat success, and the boys answered satisfactorily numerous interrogatories as to the Exodus of the Israelites from Egypt. The clergyman then said he would bo glad in his turn to speer the boy's, and at once began, “How did Pharaoh die ?” There was a dead silence. In this dilemma, the Lowland gentleman interposed. “ I think, sir, the boys are not accustomed to y-our English accent let me try what I can make of them.” And he inquired iu broad Scotch, “ Hoo did Phawraoh dee ? ” Again there was a dead silence ; upon which the master said, “ I think, gentlemen, you can’t speer these boys ; I’ll show you how to do it.” And he proceeded, “ Fat cam to Phawraoh at his hinner end ? ” The boys with one voice answered, “He was drooned,” and a smart laddie added, • ‘ Ouy lassie could hue told you that.”