MR. HOFF AND THE SPIDER.

Dunstan Times, Issue 657, 20 November 1874, Page 3

MR. HOFF AND THE SPIDER.

A New York humorist says Old Mr Collamorc, who goes to our church, is very deaf. Last Sunday, in the midst of the service, Mr Hoff, who sits immediately behind Mr Collamorc, saw a spider walking up the latter’s bald head. His first impulse was to nudge him and tell him about it, but he remembered he was deaf, so he lifted his hand and brushed the spider off. Hoff didn’t aim quite high enough and consequently, in his nervousness ho hit Collamore a rather severe blow ; the old man turned round in a rage, to see who had dared to take such a liberty with him, and Hoff began to explain with gestures the cause of the occurrence. Rut Collamorc, in a loud voice, demanded what he meant. It was painful for Hoff. The eyes of the whole congregation were upon him. and he grev red in. the face, and in desperation exclaimed— “ There was a spider on your head,” “ A white place on my head eli ? S’pose’n there is, what’s that to yon,” said Collamore, “you’ll know what it is to be baldheaded yourself, some day.” “It was a spider," shrieked Hoff, while the congregation smiled, and the perspiration began to roll down his checks. “Certainly its wider,” said Collamorc, “ and it’s got more in it than yours. Rut you let my head alone in church.” “ Mr Collamorc,”shrieked Hoff, “there was ft bug on your head, and I brushed it off this way,” and Hoff made another gesture at Collamorc’a head.

The old man thought lie was goinc to fight him then and there, and hurling his hymn-book at Hoff, he seized the kneeling stool on the floor of the pew and was about, to bang Hoff, when the soxton interfered. An explanation was written on the fly-leaf of the hymn-book whereupon Mr Collamorc apologised in a boisterous voice, and resumed his scat. Then the service proceeded. They think of asking Mr Collamorc to worship elsewhere.