MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 656, 13 November 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

—o— The man who never made a mistake never made a discovery. A hatter in New York has a bundle of old unpaid bills hung np in his stove, labelled, “ The reason why I do not give credit.” Dr MaryjWalkcr denies that a young Treasury Clerk recognises her as his long lost father. So long as the policemen shoot at the dogs, the accidental mortality of the citizens will increase. A Galesburg barber advertises himself as a “ professor of crinicultural abscission and eriuiological tripsis. ” Book-keeping may bo taught in a single lesson of three words—Never lend them. “ How did you enjoy Christmas ’’’writes a little girl; adding, “ Our turkey was goose. ” A,young lady lately called upon <a photograph artist, and asked him to take her picture with an expression as if composing a poem. A volcanic eruption on a range near Lambo, Queensland, is reported ; but the truth of the report is very much questioned.

A well organised gang of forgers has been discovered in Melbourne, all the signatures being forged by one man from models obtained by another, and the uttering is done by others.

“ Man,” said Mr Bell of Glasgow, one day to a friend who had asked him what he thought of a certain preacher,” I was certainly vexed for him. He pompit and joukit np and down in the poopit, and yerkit frae this side to that, and sqncelttill he was crawing like a roupy cock. I really wish some ane had squeezed an orange in his throat. And then he warrselt ns muckle xi’ his subject as ho did i’ wi’ bimsel’; and at last it fairly cuiat him a’ the gither. Wars me it was awfu’.”

An extraordinary riot took place at Fraserburgh a short time since, the following are the particulars. There were a large number of Highland fishermen in the place, and one of them was put in the lock-up for being drunk and disorderly. His comrades, three hundred strong, about 10 p.in., burst open the prison and rescued him, continuing the riot till 2 the next morning, by which time the police were scattered and the prison, court house, Ac., completely wrecked. The Sheriff promptly swore in special constables, and the next day obtained fifty soldiers from Aberdeen, but their services were not required. Only two of the rioters were identified and arrested.

A smart shock of earthquake was felt a Picton on the 22nd ultimo. The shock was from south to north.

A critic recently said of a new novel, “ Its incidents follow each other like a shovelful of hot coals.”

Pa’erfamilias (who believes in the employment of women) writes to ask why young women should be kept out of the pulpit while there are so many old ones let in? Pun hj.

Howlo make a slow horse fast—Tie him topost.

Why is it impossible to have the last word with a chemist ? Because he always has a retort. A reporter once aptly called an unsuccessful printer's strike a “ typograpical error.” The color of the wind was discovered by the man who went out and found it blew. Learning a trade.—The following sensible remarks are from the Wellington Tribune. —The ancient Jews wore much wiser in their generation than we moderns are. They invariably taught their children some trade or other, and in this way they were fully qualified to earn their own living. Assuredly we might do worse than follow the example. Let us come to understand that productive labor is not only useful but thoroughly “genteel”—that idleness alone is dishonorable. Lot boys be taught how to keep hooka, study the classics, practice law—the more education the better—but let them also be qualified as above, so that they may earn bread, if need bo, by forging a horse-shoe, planing a board, ploughing a field, or something else that will not get out of fashion, cannot well he outgrown, and can hardly he overdone. Other things are most proper and may be expedient, but this, in anew country, ought to bo indispensable. A novel kind of assault, by some young ruffians, was committed at Albury, New South Wales, the other day. It consisted in holding a girl, nine years old. on a nest of bull-dog ants, and beating her with nettles. The fathers of the defendants were I ordered to pay L2 Os Gd. each.