THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 655, 6 November 1874, Page 3

THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

A story is told, and it may bo averred, says the “ Rock,” that it is founded on fact, that in a certain cathedral city there once dwelt two ministers of the gospel—one, we may call him John Brown, a member of the Cathedral body, and another of the same name, a poor independent Minister. The similarity of address led to some unfortunate contretempts ; letters and parcels intended for one J.B. went to the other J, B. On one occasion the Cathedral J. P. became angry on opening a parcel not intended for him, and he consequently addressed the following note to Mr J. Brown: —“ Sir, —If you had not assumed a title to which yon had no right, this mistake could not have occurred. Your obedient Servant, &c,” The Nonconformist bided bis time in silence. Not long after this, however, he too opened a parcel intended for his High Church brother. It contained a considerable supply of manuscript sermons. Upon this the dissenting brother addressed the following retort courteous to the minor canon : “ Rev. Sir,—lf yon had not under - ken an office tor which yon are wholly unfit, this : ccident could not have occurred. Your obedient servant, J. 8.”

The following notice was recently affixed on the doors of a French provincial theatre. “The manager bogs that all pretty women will take off their hats and bonnets. Those who may be ugly or elderly are welcome to keep them on.” It is unnecessary to say that from that moment all hats and bonnets were carefully left with the boxkeeper. There are, it appears, 4,335 livings in the Church of England under L2OO a year in value. Of these, 1,578 are worth between Ll5O and L2OC, 1,59G between LIOO and Ll5O, and 1,211 less than LIOO. In a breach of promise case lately tried at Cardiff wherein the defendant (a Reverend gentleman) had to pay the sum of L 250 damages, it came out in evidence he was so enamoured that in one of his letters to the plaintiff he actually gave her permission to use his tooth-brush, and begged of her to take some beer every day. The King of Denmark recently paid a visit to Thorshaven (Faroe Islands.) During his stay the following melancholy incident occurred—While the President of

the Municipality was reading an address of welcome to His Majesty the Mayor dropped dead at bis feet. The King was greatly affected, and has endowed tho widow with a pension.