MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 653, 23 October 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

Epitaph for a Cannibal.—“ One who loved his fellow men.’’ A picture in a Jesuit church in Chili, representing purgatory, contains the figures of Emperor William, Prince Biamark, and Her von Falck, thoJMiuister of Public Worship. “ I'm afraid, dear wife, that while I am gone absence will conquer love.” “Oh, never fear, dear husband ; the longer yon stay away the better 1 shall like you.” Some singers at a concert were somewhat startled the other evening by finding that the selection, “ Winn wearied wretches sink to sleep,” had been printed on the programmes, “When married wretches,” &c.

PrcsidentLincoln, being once asked what he thought of thespeechcs’of a’coupleof vituperative and boasting competing candidates for the IllinoisLegis'ature. replied, “lam satisfied that all they say about each other is true, and that all they say about themselves is false.”

A financial speculator of great energy and enterprise being stricken with a dangerous malady, said sharply, “ What’s my chances, doctor?” “Not worth speaking of." “One in twenty?” “Oh, no." “In thirty?" “No.” “Fifty?” “I think not ” “ A hundred ?” “ Well, perhaps there may bo one in a hundred." “Isay ’hen, doctor,” pulling him down, and whispering with feeble earnestness in his ear, “ just go in a smasher on that one chance.” The doctor “ went in,” and the patient recovered.

A relic of Sir Francis Drake has been found in Guatulu Harbor, South America. IL.1 L . is a board hearing the inscription, “Francis Drake, Golden Hyndc, Anno Domino, 1577.”

Photographers who find it difficult to earn a livlil ood, should go to India, where they appear tone in great request. One Raj root ana prince pays L 3.300 per annum t • liia “ photographer royal,” a very indiff rent artist indeed, if we are to believe the Times of India.

No matter how amiable a young lady may ho fashion nmv demands that she shall appear ruffled in public.

Frog?, as an article of diet arc coming rapidly into favor in New York, where tho hind legs are worth from 4s to LI per dozen pairs wholesale. There is a great difficulty in breeding them, as hawks, snakes, and coons soon ravage the ponds ; and though millions of tadpoles are hatched each spring, there are hut few left by autumn. The largest supply comes from Canada, whence thousands are shipped annually to New York.

People who object to elaborate weddings sh uld go to lowa, U.S., where a marriage was recently ce'ehrate.d with the following brief ceremony. The happy pair were told to join their right hands, and then asked, "Do yon want one annth"r?” Both replied, “Yes." “Well, then, have one another and the couple were man and wife. “Cool.”—A clergyman seeing a man come into church after the sermon had begun stopped his dis onrso, and remarked to him, “Glad to see yon, sir; come in ; always glad to see those here late who can’t come early.” The man thus addressed, in the presence of an astonished congregation, ]r inaptly responded, “ Thank you ; would you favor mo with the text ?”