MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 651, 9 October 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

A carping author compla'ns that too much i i said about the tongue. But how is it to l)e helped, when the thing is always in everybody’s mouth ? “ Well, my boy, do you know what “ syntax ’ means ?" said a schoolmaster to the child teetotaller. “ Yes, sir, the duty upon spirits.”

A lawyer who had a most absurd case submitted to him, on being asked if the ctfcn would lie, answered, 11 Yes; if the witnesses will lie, too, but not otherwise.” Blank Declarations. —“ 1 see,” said a young lady, “ that some publishers advertise blank declarations for sale. I wish I could get one.” “ Why 5” asked the mother. “ Because, ma, Mr G is too modest to ask mo to marry him, and perhaps if I could fill a blank declaration, ho would sign it." A young lady who entered a New York mns'c shop, and asked the young man in attendance, “ Have you 1 Happy Dreams?” was astonished when he replied, ‘‘No ma’am I am mostly troubled with the nightmare."’ He didn’t know why she went out so hurriedly, and slammed the shop door after her.

A genius was explaining the utility of an indiarubber ship he was inventing, when an old salt exclaimed: ‘‘No, no : it will never do ; an indiarubber ship would rub out all lines of latitude and longitude, to say nothing of the equator.” The Schoolmaster is abroad in South Austoalia (says tho Sydney Mail.) He appears, indeed, to bo “ all abroad” there as to certain historical facts with which his scholars ought to be well acquainted. For an enterprising people, the South Australians have been somewhat behind the times in the matter of primary education. An attempt was made a short time ago to carry an Education Bill framed upon the lines of tho very thorough going measure lately passed in Victoria. Although it failed, the agitation infused new life into the working of the existing system. One o f the results has heen the calling up of a number of the teachers for examination. Will it be bei wed that the following answers were given to the questions to which they are respectively appended ! Question.—What changes were introduced at tire Norman conquest? Answer,—Fi-st, the introduction of Christianity ; second, tho ringing of the Corfu bell. Q —What was tho cause o the Crusades, and which of our kings took part in them. A.—The boundary ef Nova Scotia, and Charles I. engaged in them. Q.—What were the chief events of the Common-wealth ? A.—(by no less than three candidates.) —Tho gunpowder plot.— The statement is made, however, in a report by the Chairman of the Board of Education. The publication of facts like this can but strengthen the cause, aud quicken tho progress of educational reform in the colony.