MISCELLANEOUS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 627, 24 April 1874, Page 3

MISCELLANEOUS.

“ I say, Clem,” cried two disputing darkies. appealing for decision to iv sable umpire, 1‘" which word is right—dizactly or dezaOfcly ?” The table umpire relleeted a moment, and then, with a look o£ wisdom, said, “ I can’t tell perzactly.” Now, then, stupid, what’s the ne:;t word ? What comes after cheese ?”—Dull boy :j—“ A mouse, Sir.” A famous Judge came late to Court one day in busy session ; whereat his clerk',’ in groat surprise, inquired of him ihoreason. -“A child was bom,” his Honor said, “ and I’m the happy sire.”—“ An infant judge?”—“ Oh, no,” said he, “as yet he’s hut a crier.” The total number of lives rescued during 1873 by the Lifeboat Institution was ‘ICO, and the vessels- saved from destruction v ere 21 During the same period' iho Institution .granted rewards for saving 107 lives by .fishing and other boats, making a grand total of CG6. Altogether, this noble institution contributed from its formation to the saving of 22,151 shipwrecked persons, for which service it Las | granted 933 gdd an 1 silver jnudals and ■41,37-11. in money. Maxims, —An i-ak is not felled with one blow. A wager is a fools argument. Business is the salt of life. A French writer dssmibes a young la dy as a creature that ceases to kiss gentltmen a: twelve, and begins again at twenty - Tiiejroar 1373.was the first in which the imports of foreign and colonial merchandise into the United Kingdom exceeded the value of 1,00 ). 0002. a'day. The total is stated at 370,380,7421. The exports of British and Irish produce and manufactures averaged nearly 700,0001. a day, the total’l ting 255,073,3361. An old stoiy comes tome, on very good authority, from the Westminster County Court. It appears that a couple of laboring men had a dispute before the Court; and, after hearing a portion of it, the learned J edge suggested] that it was a case which might he settled out of Court. He was about to adjourn for lunch, and, in the meantime, the parties had better try what they could do. They retired, and socking as private a place as they could find, stripped, and “set too” in .the good old English I’.ll. style, believing they wore obeying the injunction of the Judge to “■settle” their dispute out of Court. On the Court resuming, the parties reappeared, when his Honor inquired if they had settled their difference. •* Oh, yes, your Honor,” was the reply. “'Why, you have been lighting,” said the dudge, observing the milled appearance of the parties. “Yes, I sir ; yon told ns to settle it, and we have | had it out.” “ Dear me,” said the Judge, I‘t you completely misunderstood we. I feel as if I had been a party to a breach of ! the peace. Go away now, and don’t settle any more disputes in that manner” His Honor’s view of the ease was right ; but would not a properly appointed ring, at 11.0 rear of the Court, for the accommodation of pugnatioiis suitors, often lead to the settlement of disputes in a manner consonant with the interests of justice? 1 South London Bices. I Old Axioms.—A great man is one who can lead his children 10 obey him when I out of his sight. A hospitable man is never ashamed of his dinner when a friend unexpectedly drops in to dine with him. A good wife exhibits her love for her husband by seeking to promote iris welfare, and by administering to his comfort. A sensible wife looks for her enjoyment at home : a silly -one abroad. A wise girl would win a lover by practising those virtues which secure admiration when personal charms have fai'ed. A simple girl endeavors to. recommend herself l y the exhibition of frivolous accomplishments, and by a mawkish sentiment, which has aa little to do with a true heart as has the gaudy dross she wears. A good girl alw ays re-spec is herself, and is thus sure to he respected by others. Aucs remain apes, though you clothe them in velvet. Goldsmiths’ Work. —The process of Hue-art manufacture in this branch of trade is strikingly exemplified in a little work published by’Mr. J. W. Benson, of No. 25, Old Bond-street, end of the City Steam Factory, -53 and CO, Ludgate-hill, London. It is enriched and embellished with designs, by Italian, French and English artistes, of brooches, bracelets, ear-rings, and other articles, suitable for personal wear, or for wedding, hirth-day, or other presents, with their prices. Mr. Benson, who holds the appointment to 11.11.11. the Prince of Wales, has also published a very interesting pamphlet on the Rise and Progress of Watchmaking. These pamphlets are sent, post free, for two stamps each, and they cannot betoo strongly recommended to those contemplating a purchase, especially to residents in the country or abroad, who are thus enabled to solec* any article they may require, and have ft o warded in perfect safety. Dr. Height's Pixosuodyxe - -'Multitudes of people are hopelessly suffering from Debility, Nervous and Liver Complaints, Depression of Spirits, Delusions, Unfitness for Business or Study, Failure of Hearing, Sight, and Memory, Lassitude, "WAnt of Power, Lc., whose cases admit of a permanent cure by the new remedy—Phosphodyne (Ozonic Oxygon)— which at oure allays all .irritation and excitement, imparts new energy and life to the enfeebled constitution, and rapidly cures every stage of these hitherto incurable and distressing maladies. Sold by all chemists and storekeepers throughout the Colonies from whom Pamphlets, containing testimonials, may be obtained. Caution.-Be particular to ask for Dr. Bright’s Phosphodyne, as imitations arc abroad ; and avoid purchasing single bottle the genuine article ; being sold in cases only.

Holloway’s Ointment and Pills.Dismiss your doubts. Let no one be longer oppressed with the notion that his malady is incurable till these purifying pills have had a fair trial. When other preparations have failed, these pills have been used with the most marked success. A course of this admirable raed cine clears the blood from •all impurities, und so improves its quality. The whole system is thus beneli ted through the usual channels, without any loss of strength, shook to the nerves, or other inconvenience ; in fact, health is renewed by natural means. For curing diseases of the throat, windpipe, and chest these Pills have established a pre-eminently worldwide fame ; and in complaints of the stomach, liver, and kidneys tliev are equally efficacious. They are composed of rare balsams, without a grain of mercury or other deleterious substance. Science and art. —A striking instance of the immense value a small piece of steel may acquire by the great power of skilled mechanical labor is the balance spring of a watch. From its extreme fineness and delicacy four thousand weigh not more than one ounce, and exceed in value £I,OOO. A most interesting little work, describing the rise anil progress of watchmaking, has been published by J. W. Season, of 2d, Old Bond-street, and the' City, Steam Factory, 58 and GO. Ludgate' lull, London. The book, which is profusely illustrated, gives a full description of the various kinds of watches and clocks, with their prices. Mr. Benson, who holds the appointment to the Prince of Wales, has also published a pamphlet on Artistic Gold Jewellery, illustrated [with beautiful designs of Bracelets, Broaches, liar-rings, Locke's, &c., suitable for wedding,birthday and other presents. Illustrated catalogues sent post free for two stamps each, and they cannot bo too strongly recommended to those contemplating a purchase, especially to residents in the country or abroad, who are thus enabled to select any article they may require, aud have it forwarded with perfect safety.