GOATMEN V. GARDENERS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 578, 16 May 1873, Page 2

GOATMEN V. GARDENERS.

(to the editor of the dun STAN times) Sir, —I observe with feelings of surprise and disappointment, that bis Honor the Superintendent fn his late speech, has made no reference to the important question of goats. And yet there is hardly a question more worthy of the [consideration of the Provincial Council, as the nuisance has increased to such an extent as to demand the severest measures for its repression. Owners of goats taking advantage of the forbearance of their neighbors, turn their animals out with a touching faith that they will manage to steal a livelihood somehow ; till people’s patience becomes exhausted, and they threaten reprisals ; wh°n the goatman will perhaps couple one or two of the worst of his vermin to some of his innocent young goats that had hitherto led an honest life, then, with a smile that is “ child-like and bland,” the goatman considers that he has fulfilled all that society can reasonably require of him. The result may be easily foreseen. Some favorable night a hoaiy goat old billy, with a brow wrinkled by crime, and beard prematurely grey with villainy, leads a score or so of his nature, imagining that it would prove a sufficient protection. Yain hope ; the old billy quietly butts off a few of the top sods and trots into the enclosure. Perhaps, at this moment, some of the innocent young goats make a faint protest against the nefarious proceedings by tagging at the chain which confines them to one of the old criminals ; but what are principles opposed to the succulent shoots of a young apple tree ? Or how could a goat’s depraved moral nature withstand the temptation offered by the juicy buds of a rose bush? The whole party follow their leader, who commences operations by ruthlessly attacking the fiuit trees, tearing down branches and [destroying the plants as if in sheer malice ; pursuing his work of devastation, he espies some rare flowers nourished with fond and anxious care—- “ He smiles upon them and they bloom no more.” Oh ! Where arc the spirits of departed gardeners, that at such a moment they do

not act without the aid of a medium, and rap out a diabolical tattoo on the table, or make the chamber furniture perform such a double shuffle of mortal agony as would arouse that slumbering gardener to a sense of tho destruction taking place among the plants he loved so well, and had tended so carefully, until he knew every bud and blossom ; and as he watched their growth, they entwined themselves around his heart, and he fondly imagined they would be “ things of beauty and a joy for dver,” but in one short hour his happiness is destroyed, and the wilderness he had made to blossom as the rose, ir reduced to its original desolation. I will not attempt to paint the lacerated feelings of that bereaved horticulturist, when the morning sunjreveals the scene to his horror struck vision. There are some feelings too sacred to be dragged before the rude gaze of the public, and I gladly draw a veil. It is of no use appealing to the good feelings of the goatmen (they haven’t got '* any) but will coolly tell you if your present fence will not keep out goats, erect a better one. Now, if my neighbor Jack Eobinson imports an elephant—a very useful animal but of a playful disposition— must I erect a fence formed of the trunks of trees clamped together with iron bands, in order to prevent that elephant from kicking my domicile into a miscellaneous collection of sundries ? Echo answers, most decidedly not. Then, by the same rule, the goatmen ought to erect a goat proof fence and place their goats inside of it, for if it will not pay the person who receives the milk to grow grass for the goats, it is too bad to ask your neighbors, who derive no benefit from the brutes, to feed them on valuable trees. The only remedy is for the Legislature to pass a short act, entitled “An Act for the better j suppression of Vermin.” Three clauses would be sufficient. 1. That all goats shall be subject to a registration fee of If. per annum, and shall be kept enclosed by a secure fen ee. 2. Any goats found at large to bo dr strayed and the owners fined 3. The registration fees and fines to form'a reward fund for the scalps of the stragglers. If these few simple provisions were carried out in their integrity it would sootho the wounded feelings of many a BROKEN-HEAETED GARDENER. Alexandra, May 13, 1873.’