ENGLISH EXTRACTS.

Dunstan Times, Issue 539, 16 August 1872, Page 3

ENGLISH EXTRACTS.

—o— The following curious article has been going the round of the country press. As I have not yet seen it noticed in Loudon, I | will give you a short sketch of ‘it. It sum- 1 raarises a correspondence which passed between “ an obscure reporter out of work” and “ a clergyman of the Church of Eng. bind,” in reference to sermons which the former wrote (at the rate of three for five and twenty shillings) and the latter preached, The remarkable thing about it, is the cool business-like way in which the clergyman ordered eloquence on the highest subjects of religion, a..d “remitted” for it after the manner of a commercial traveller. Here is one of his letters —“ Dear Sir," he says, If you will send sermon forthwith on the Christian’s victory over death, upon the passage, ‘ The last enemy,-’ &c.-, and I approve of it, will then remit you 255., upon receipt of which you can send as soon as possible three more on stirring subjects,suitable for Sabbath evening uses.” This is another : —“ Dear Sir, “he says, on receipt of the “ Christian’s victory,” “ Have just received the manuscript. Shall nut heed it to morrow. Approve of it with one exception, which should likeyou to remedy. Will then remit you Hiving given, then, a description of man when death entered into the world, in as glowing language as possible, a description should be given of Christ’s resurrection from the dead, when death was conquered and the devil defeated. •Sei d this appendage as soon as possible. Will then fulfil before mentioned agreement.” “If by return of post,” says a Scotch paper, “ the devil did not catch it then there is no truth in political economy. There are several other letters, hut I have only space to give two of them. The first runs — ‘‘ Dear Sir.—Send me second ser. mon of present course from words, ‘ and yet there is room ’ My idea of the passage runs something after-the following; First, introduction. Bring in forcibly and clearly reason and occasion of the words. First division : Gospel'provision in the Church of Christ, with bold and striking glance at number of believers of every cast and character who have been admittted into its pale. Church on earih compared to a railway train—passengers of all ages, &c., vessels moving on waters of sea, &c. Second ly, the ‘ room ’ in heaven, with pathetic picture of saved and yet there is ‘ room ’ room for all, room forme, &o. The third text will send in « few days, when please enclose account.” Mote interesting, perhaps, are the directions despatched for a homily on “ Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, saith the Lord” Here the instructions are to “adopt own course in introduction, hut get in description, in as forcible and graphic language as possible, of first apostles— fishermen, taxgatherers, &c,,—and contrast with great ones, leading ones of this day ; also bring in Reformation, Martin Luther, «tc., in as glowing language as p ssible ; then describe position of Church at present day—perfect machinery, every advantage taken for'gl.,rious in-gathering of souls, &c. After this draw vivid picture of sinner saved, not Invisible hand stretched from Heaven, nut Imperceptible voice ringing forth from th one, not by angel with biihiant wings, not by might, nor by power, but, but, <to. Lastly, let door of Heavon be seen distinctly open, with saved Christian triumphantly entering it.” Swindline, 1 suppose, will never cease to assume a new phase. The latest I have heard of this An unsophisticated cow keeper went to Ormskirk fair to sell a cow! While there he became the hearer of a conversation between “ two respectable looking men,” one of whom seemed to he wanting to buy a horse from the other. Said the seller to the would be buyer, “ My master told me 1 must not sell you the horse ou any account.” The buyer turned to the cowkeeper, and said, “ You would not mind doing me a favor.” Then to the seller he said, “ Sell it to this man, then you will not be breaking your word.’The cow-keeper very innocently swallowed the bait, the three went into an inn, and the seller then said the price was 30/. The cowkeeper said he had onlv 22 1. ; but this difficulty was got over by the anxious purchaser saying, “ Hero’s St, and I will mak° up after. ” The 30/. was paid, and the seller invited the cowkeeper to look at the horse which he had just sold Together they went into the yard, leaving the buyer in the lobby. The cowkeeper having seen the horse, returned to the house for his 22/., but the man for whom ho had acted was nowhere to bo s-en. He returned to the stab’e, but the seller had gone. There was only one alternative—to take possession of the horse ; but on doing so he was told to “ Let that there horse alone ; it’s mine.” The horse that had been sold belonged to another person. The cowkeeper was overcome by such treachery ; he imbibed too freely, became incapable, was taken before a magistrate, and fined five shillings and costs. An unusual scene occurred in a chapel at Ciookham in Northumberland a Sunday or two ago. The minister had determined to raise his pew rents, and the congregation objected. Thereupon the minister ticketed each seat with a price label. Discover! g this on the Sunday morning, some of th; congregation waited upon their pastor in tha vestry to protest, and the congregationwtre kept waiting fully half an hour while the question was discussed. At last the minis, ter emerged from his retirement, gave out psalm and prayed This done, he re-opened the abandoned discussion in the pulpit He was promptly stopped by a men.b*-r of the congregation, who stood up, and addressing the minister aloud, said that hia remarks would have been better made at the close of the service, and that the congregation did not desire to hear lh. se arithmetical problems in domestic economy solved iu the pulpit. At th s point the collector of the seat rents started to his ftet, and objected to the minister being abused. Further discussion ensued, and it was resolved, upon a 'show of bands, that the rems of the seats -remain the same. The meeting then dis- I ipersod', • .' . |