A DELICATE MISSION.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4135, 23 October 1884, Page 4

A DELICATE MISSION.

" Cau I see the editor':" Could she see tho editor ! That divine combination of yellow hair, fur, feathers, smiles and blushes! Well, the editor should giggle hysterically ! Had she demanded the demijohn of the managing editor, tho critical inspiration of the dramatic editor, the salary of the sub-editor, they Avould have been placed on the sacrifical altar before that vision. Five genteel manipulators of public opinion looked as much as they formed in line before, beseeching her that she made knoAvn her Avauts. "I am almost afraid of editors," she murmcred, taking in the procession Avith a shy glance, "None of these are editors enough to hurt," observed the sub-editor, with an insinuating Avink. "I think you can trust me," said the managing editor, Avith a scowl fit his associates. " Anything in my line!'" inquired the society etlitor, with a smile like a now moon, as he stood on one foot and button-holed the left thumb. "If it is in the dramatic lino of trade, you Avant to sec mo before going elsewhere," interjected the dramatic editor, feeling around at the corksci'cav in his vest pocket. ' You are all so kind,' she faltered, edging aAvay from the dramatic editor in dismay. "I am not accumstomed to business ways, but '' and tho sensitive mouth epiivered, Avhile every editor wondered why each didn't kick the rest outdoors for having in some Avay touched the delicate cords thatso faintly hold in check the emotions of this fragile creature. "We won't make this business, avc willcall it pleasure" cooed the sub-editor in the tones Avhieh have so endeared him to the advertisiii<>- patrons of the Traveller. " Well," continued the vision, encouraged by the sympathy Avith which she avus surrounded, "Pa is dead—!" "Ah !" moaned the procession as one mouth. "Then I'm your man," boldly asserted the sub-editor, gently taking her unresisting hand. " What you want "is a beautiful obituary, for the style of Avhieh 1 have succeeded in making this office justly famous, and which I think I may modestly say is in tho habit of taking the socks off anything in that vein now presented to the public. Give me the name of the defunct, and I will cast a gloom over tho community that will make their hair stand on end." "What a brute!" hissed the managing editor as the beautiful chin of the visitor fell on her neck." I meant to say pa avus dead and so is ma"Avhispored the bereaved, casting a reproachful glance at the sub-editor. "Planted in the same coffin, I suppose " su"gestcd the sub-editor, unconscious_ of the "effect he Avas producing on the fair mourner. "We can do two as easy as one. Never mind the harrowing details, avc sling those Avith the obituary. Social position of the remains ; floral decorations ; ' our pa and ma ! ' shock to the community and all the res.t of it. It's a lucky thing I happened to bo in Avhen you called. These other felloAvs would have butchered the whole business, and made you wish the old man and old Avoman had never pegged out. You just leave the matter Avith me and I'll fix you out Avith the orthodox buckets of <mef." "You are very good," replied tho maiden Avith quivering lips. "Pa and ma are already buried. They died years ago, and I had to face the cold world ! " The procession groaned and glared tit each other. "And so I concluded to do something to support myself rather than live dependent on rich relatives," continued the maiden in a broken A'oice. "Heroic!" chorused the procession, and the sub-editor, Avith a new li»-ht in his eye, released her hand and dropped his arm around her waist. " Howrich arc those relatives!'" he insinuated. " And," she proceeded, disregarding the question. " and 1 am now soliciting orders for Cassell's new edition of ' Picturesque America,' and, knowing that your paper is devoted to the interests of Americans, I feel confident " But she ay.-is left alone with her specimen, and the feu tails of five frockcoats described artistic circles as their owners banged five sanctum doors and left the radiant vision to scramble doAvn a chirk f«tairway as best she could.