LITERARY GEMS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4115, 29 September 1884, Page 4

LITERARY GEMS.

Tho secrets of tho Dead Letter Oflice ■would fill a score of the most interesting volumes published. We are all familiar with the case of a lady who wrote to her boy in America and addressed her letter thus—" Please send this letter to my son who drives a team of red oxen, and the railroad runs through his place; " and of the other party who sent a let tor bearing the superscription—" P.M. — Please forward to the physician who was looking for a house-keeper in St. Louis' last week : is a ■widower with two children ; don't know his name." A few literary gems culled from letters lying in the New York General Postoffice, however, have been brought to light, and are well worth repiiblishing. The poetical clement snrins particular)- strong. One ardent gentleman evidently a lover, considered these lines sufficient to carry his epistle to its destination - Fly, little messenger, quick and straight, ToHumboldt county of lowa state ;

Fly, little messenger, and seek with care, For Miss AnnieFahey, you'll find her there. Unfortunately there was no stamp on it, and the matter-of-fact postmaster hustled it off to the Dead Letter Office. A similar fate awaited a letter bearing the somewhat impertinent direction — Bummer's letter, send it ahead, Dead broke and nary a red Postmaster, put this letter through, And when I got paid I'll pay you.

What the postmaster thought about the business may be judged from his reply pencilled below: Played out, my dear boy, There is no use in talking, If you can't pay your way, You'll have to try walking.

Considering the extraordinarily careless fashion in which some people address their letters, it is surprising many of the epistles that eventually reach their destination arc delivered.