SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4032, 24 June 1884, Page 4

SCISSORS.

Miss Dargon, one of the most popular actresses that ever delighted a Melbourne audience, is about to give a scries of recitals in Melbourne.

A sailor, who has a great aversion to life on land, says ho is like a lobster, as he never comes ashore without the risk of getting into hot water.

A young lady recently out driving became alarmed when the horse began to kick, and naively requested her beau to get out and hold the animal's leg. Emilic Melville's Opera Company will •visit New Zealand early next year. The Mascotte Company also intend to repeat their visit with fresh novelties.

The Melbourne Argus deliberately charges tho plain clothes police of Victoria will dellaying tho execution of warrants so as to give criminals the opportunity of escaping. There is a charming advertisement in the Sydney Herald of May 31st:—" A French Sir, married, desires any occupation whatever he would prefer an employ for the French writings." Curious reasons are often given for insolvency. Here is a neat one. A schoolmaster at Geelong fifing gives the cause of insolvency, " Marriage of two daughters who had principally supported him."

Tho richest racing prize ever won in Australasia was tho Champion Stakes, when Flying Buck won a stake of £2,050. This was the horse that had to be kept in slings before the race owing to stiffness. A masquerade ball was recently given at the La Salpctrierc 1113 anc Asylum, in Paris. The inmates were alio wed full liberty in the matter of costuming. By a strange irony of Fate there were three of the poor unforlunates'attired as Folly ! It was at the close of the wedding breakfast. One of the guest arose, and, glass in hand, said: " I drink to the health of the groom. May he see many days like this." Tho intention was good, but tho bride looked as if something had displeased her. The gods in the Theatre Royal, Melbourne, through the curtain not rising promptly, began a serious of interpolations in tho play. Result, tho gallery has been rc-christcued tho amphitheatre and the admission has been raised from one shilling to two.

The balance-sheet of tho Australasian Parnell Testimonial has just been published. Now South Wales contributed £010, Victoria £807, New Zealand £207, Queensland £125, South Australia £70, Tasmania £44, or a total of £2000 over and above expenses. During the presidency of M. Grevy a strong tendency has been manifested in France to commute capital sentences. Owing to tho operation of this, feeling, it is computed by a recent writer iv the Daily Telegraph that at least 1000 murderers were transported to New Caledonia during the period mentioned. A new native Indian journal has, according to the Madras Atheineum, been started for the express purpose of advocating tho re-marriage of Indian widows and the reduction of wedding expenses, which Indian custom render costly. In. a recent nnmbcr of tho new organ avo are told seven Hindoo widows announce their readiness to re-enter the marriage state. Some years ago, there were two wandering cricket Elevens consisting of one-armed and one-legged men. The first match between cricketers of this kind took place in 1811. It was for one thousand guineas, and all the men were pensioners of Greenwich Hospital. The one-arm side won. Their opponents were continually breaking or losing their wooden supports. The Chief Secretary of Victoriahasfoundit necessary to dismiss from the police force Constable A. J. Condy, of Pyramid-hill. On tho 10th May Condy stuck up a drunken fellowship with a man in a publichouse, and afterwards fought with him. and conducted himself in a most outrageous manner. He arrested his companion, took him to the lock-up, and then sot him at liberty. During all"this time Condy was intoxicated. Amidst the twaddlo now added on in tho shape of poetry to the announcement of deaths in Australian papers, here is rather a neat thing, containing undoubtedly a romance:—" In loving remembrance of my betrothed, who, on the Ist of June, 1860, 'passed:to where beyond these voices there is peace.' " Tho sentimental will reckon it pretty, and the matter of fact will say it is put in by a married man with a large family who dares not sign his name. The Adelaide agriculturalists wanted a report on a new harvester. Tho reporters were all very well, but not good enough for them ; they would havo an export's report for which they would pay, and so one was appointed to do. the job in style. Iv due course tho report was ready, parts of it were weak, but on the whole it was well received. In an evil hour it was printed, and then it •was discovered that the satisfactory parts were copied verbatim from the report of the S.A. Register, and now the men of the plough want a refund, and henceforward will he content with reports not by experts. Any girl, by baths and wholesome food, and by breathing pure air, can render her complexion clear and soft. With care, her

hair, teeth and nails, can be daintily kept. Her clothes, however cheap, can be fresh and becoming in color. She can train her mind, even if of ordinary capacity, to be alert'and earnest. And, if she adds to these a sincere, kind, and sunny temper, she will win friends and love as surely as if all the fairies had brought her gifts at her birth. "It is of no use for a girl whose person is soiled and untidy, and whose temper is seliMi and irritable at home, to hope to cheat anybody by putting on fine clothes and a smile for company. The thick muddy skin and sour expression will betray her.

A great deal of twaddle is written respecting tho tendency of Australians to overindulge in outdoor sports to the detriment of their minds. Of the young Australians who have visited England to finish Their education, possibly there was no more enthusiastic athlete than Mr R. B. Wise. He was a splendid swimmer, and on the cinder path, in addition to many other victories, he twice won the Amateur Championship, boating the celebrated W. G. George, who subsequently defeated the Yankee flyer Myers. At Oxford Mr Wise took high honors, and last year he returned to Sydney. His friends will be glad to hear that at the meeting of the Barristers' Admission Beard last week he was appointed examiner in Roman, constitutional, and international law, in place of the celebrated scholar the late Dr Badham.

The last trial of an English nobleman before his peers was that of the Earl of Cardigan in IS4I for an assault with intent to murder, alleged to have been committed by him in fighting a duel with Mr Henry Garnett Phipps Tuckett. The Earl of Cardigan, who was at the time LieutenantColonel of the 14th Regiment of Hussars, was incensed against Mr Tucker, formerly a captain under his command, for writing letters in the Morning Chronicle, criticising the discipline and general conduct of the regiment. The result was a duel at Wimbleton Common on the 12th September, 1840, Capt. Tucker was wounded by the second shot. The lords held that tho evidence which fixed the identity of Captain Tuckett was insufficient, and each of them declared upon his honor that the noble defendant was "not guilty." The Earl of Cardigan afterwards led his men at the famous charge of Balaclava. A lady in Wellington a few clays ago took up a newspaper which her husband had just laid down. He had been reading the sporting intelligence, and the first thing that caught her eye was a paragraph in the same columns. She commenced to read it mechanically, but becoming puzzled the following colloquy took place:—" My dear, what does it mean by saying ' Minerva came to tho rescue of the books'?" "It's the name of a horse, dear," rejoined the husband. "Oh, I see; but how did it come 'to the rescue of the books, and what books does it mean?" "Well, dear, it simply means that—well, it means that Minerva, being an "outsider, spoiled the good thing. You will sec all about it if you read on." "Thank you, dear; 1 don't quite follow your explanation, but I will take your advice." (Continues reading.) ' Minerva came to the rescue of the books and put a good many of the first day's doubles crooked.' He—"There, that explains it." She—'' Well, I must confess I hardly—but there, I will read on " —' but the talent did not quite get a skinner after all, for a few were lucky enough to hold the daughter of S wcetbriar in the second leg.' He—'' There, my dear, now you must see it. Some of them struck the double, and I wish I had ; but I didn't, unfortunately." She (indignantly)—"l don't know anything about 'striking the double,' but I know one thing, which is I consider such slang abominable, and perhaps, as you seem to know all about it, j'ou will condescend to inform me who is the young lady described as the daughter of Swcetbriar, and what is meant by holding her in the second ." But he had fled.