SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4016, 5 June 1884, Page 4

SCISSORS.

Ellen Terry is only 36 years of age. Switzerland has 45,000 watchmakers. A general strike against police taxes is threatened in Ireland. Elinois has 255,741 farms, Ohio 247,189, and New York 241,058. A billiard table has been made at Chistchurch, the first in tho colony. The Indian import of British barrel beer exceeds that of any other country. The Queen has authorised Signor Brandi to translate her last work into Italian. Eight hundred and ninety-four of the 1012 convicts in North Carolina are negroes. Bland Holt will come direct from England to New Zealand about July, with some Drury Lane novelties. Tho latest phase of the craze for ceramic art decoration is the painting of family portraits on the household china. At Sir Thomas Elder's sale a brother to tho handsome little chestnut Guesswork was bought for New Zealand by Mr Wade. In the Assembly, N.S.W., last week Mr O'Connor took the preliminary steps for the introduction of a bill to establish workhouses. A Boston journal publishes an account of the first draftof Longfellow's " Excelsior," which is preserved in tho library of Harvard Colloge. Turner's name is still powerful with lovers of art. Four small water-colors by him sold in London on March 14 for 3500 guineas. - They are going to havo a Chinese theatre in New York. . The play announced for the opening is " The Romance of the Yang-tse-Kiang." A small mountain has been discovered in Moxico hollowed out two hundred of small chambers. The walls are covered with hieroglyphics. Gounod has completed his oratorio, "Mors etVit3,". the sequel to "The Redemption," for the Birmingham music festival of 1885. A lady and gentleman accidentally touched each other's feet under the table. "Secret telegraphy," said he. "Communion of soles," said she. The oldest alphabet in existence is scratched on a little ink bottle found in one of the Greek colonies in Italy, and is supposed to date about 500 B.C. RaVbits in Tasmania are proved to be affected with tuberculosis. It is said that tuberculosis as an exterminator beats the domestic cat and mongoose. The. remains of Beethoven and Schubert will shortly be exhumed from their present resting-place, and solemnly transferred to . the central cemetery, Vienna. The Paris Debats has been puzzled by the name of the "Black Watch" in the Soudan expedition, and describes the gallant 42nd as the British regiment of negroes. There were 157 century scores made in Australasia the last cricket season, 94 of them being got in Victoria. Murdoch claimed 4, and P. McDonnell and H. Scott 3 each. At the christening, the othor day, of the infant son and heir of Sir Charles Mordaunt, the water with which the ceremony was performed was brought from the river Jordan. The Russian police have suppressed a

school book written by a French teacher, because it infringed on the Czar's prerogatives by speaking of "the majesty of Nature." The Geelong Advertiser records the fact that one day last week Charles Simpson, the fisherman, landed from his nets on the railway pier three thousand young sharks, the result of one haul in Corio Bay. At a classical concert when the orchestra begins to tune up, the conductor commences by Wagner stick, which he Handels quite recklessly, Chopin the air as he Liszts. Then he looks Bach and the music commences. Mr Fisher (Mayor of Wellington), when entertained by the Mayor of Melbourne, said when he saw the prosperity of Victoria he regretted ever having left it, to which Mr Hutchison, of Wellington, will doubtless say amen. Professor Knenen's revision of his introduction to the Old Testament is to be translated from the Dutch by a well-known English clersyyman. The chapters relating to the Pentateuch and Joshua were translated by the late Dr. Colenso. On Saturday the wife of Daniel Scott, a hammerman, in Burnside Street, was delivered of triplets—two sons and _ a daughter. She had previously been twice delivered of twins, making seven of a family in four years and seven months. A late celebrated judge, who stooped very much when walking, had a stone thrown at him one day, which happily passed over him without hitting him. Turning to his friend, he remarked, "Had I been an upright judge, tkat might have caused my death." The Hon. John Macintosh, M.L.C., has been a total abstainer for above 20 years. He declined the blue ribbon at one of Mr Bootn's meetings recently in Sydney, on what the audience could not but regard and evidently did accept as a sufficient ground, viz., that he was a member of the Licensing Bench, and as such could not wear party omblems on his coat. Some popular writers blunder occasionally in their statements. As an illustration, tho Glasgow Christian Leader refers to Miss Thackeray's latest volume, in which she asserts that Dr. Doddridge was a tutor in the Unitarian Academy. Now, in the first place, Dr Doddridge was not a Unitarian ; and, in the second place, he died six years before the Warrington Academy same into existence. The death of Mezzofanti, who spoke fifty - eight different languages fluently, calls to mind a story of the late Lord Palmcrston. A friend of his was recommending to him some third person as a suitable man for a vacant billet. "Ho can speak six or seven different languages." "Bless my soul," replied the Premier; " why, I know a fellow who speaks a dozen, but he never says a sensible thing in any of them." The Herald's Warrnambul correspondent mentions that a portrait of the son of Morgan, tho Panmure murderer, had been sent over to Tasmania, the son being the image of his father at the time the parallel crime to that at Panmure was committed at Bridgewater, about a quarter of a centuiy since. The portrait, it is said, was shown to the mother of the girl murdered in Tasmania, and she at once exclaimed, "That is the man who murdered my child." To meet the dangers which occur in the •loading and unloading of ships, by those falling off the perpendicular ladders between deck and deck, Mr Richard Clarkson Scott, of the Beaver Line, has patented an invention which has been accepted by those engaged in the trade as an ample and necessary protection. This consists of a caged ladder by which men at work in the hatchway are secure from the danger of being thrown into the hold by the concussion of cargo. When not in use the ladder can be folded up. Please, sir," said the bell boy to a Texas hotel clerk, "No. 40 says there ain't no towel in his room." "Tell him to use one of the window curtains." "He says, too, there ain't no pillers." "Tell him to put his coat and vest under his head." "And he wants a pitcher of water." " Suffering Cyrus ! But he's the worst kicker I ever struck in my life. Carry him up the horse pail." "He wants to know if he can have a light." " Here, confound him! Give him this lantern, and ask him if he wants the earth, and if he'll have it fried on only one side or turned over."—Texas Sittings. It is a truism to say that Scotsmen are to be found in every corner of the habitable globe. As I once heard a Melbourne Englishman remark: "If there were no Scotchmen, what would the world do for bank-managers ?" They have been noted as enterprising emigrants, and, in a large number of cases, successful colonists. I met with few instances of Scotchmen complaining in respect of their material welfare. One man in Queensland had a somewhat unique grievance, which, however, he set forth with a twinkle in the eye: " There's the government spendin' pounds upon pounds in bringin' oot folk to this country, while here's me wi' fifteen bairns, maistly a' borne here, an' I've' never got a penny forony o' them!"— Chambers Journal. Three commercial travellers, meeting at a West of Englandinn one winter evening, had a hearty supper together. Supper over, the three found some difficultyin allotting their respective shares of the bill; but one of them at length cut short the dispute by proposing that whosoever had the "oldest name" among them should go free, tho expenses being halved by the other two. This amendment being promptly accepted, No. 1 produced a card inscribed " Richard Eve," which No. 2 trumped with "Adam Brown." Then No. 3, a portly veteran with a humorous eye, laid down his card with a quiet confidence of a great general making a decisive movement, and remarked with a chuckle, " I don't much think you'll beat this 'un, gents." And he was right, for the name was "Mr B. Ginning." A man had met a girl in a lonely place and forcibly kissed her. She was terribly indignant, and had him arrested. She gave an account of how he gazed at her intently, and then, suddenly throwing his arms around her, imprinted a kiss upon her lips. The prisoner made no defence, and the jury was expected to promptly convict him of assault. They rflturned to tho Court-room. "The ju-ju-jury w-w-would like to ask the young lady two questions," the foreman said. The Judge consented, and she wont on to the stand. " D-d-did you wear the j-j-jersey that you've g-g-got on now?" "Yes, sir," was the demure reply. "And w-w----was your ha-ha-hair b-b-bangedlikothat." "Yes, sir." " Then, Your Honor, we acquit the prisoner on the ground of emo-mo-motional insanity."