SCISSORS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4010, 29 May 1884, Page 4

SCISSORS.

Bandmann is in New York. Jenny Nye bus been playing in the provinces in Victoria. From the C'jngo it is announced that the International Association has founded anew station at Stanley Falls. Queen Victoria has sent a very kind letter to the Khedive, condoling with him on the recent loss of his mother. A resident of Hobart, who has been twice married, and is over seventy years of ago, recently had his twenty-eighth child born unto him. At Madrid a warrant has been issued for the arrest of the editor of a newspaper which, during twenty days, has systematically attacked in an indecent manner the King, the Monarchy, and the Premier. The editor is in hiding , . The many friends of the veteran Mr William Hoskins will bo interested in learning that on tho 10th instant there was, as Artcmus Ward puts it, " joy in the house," as on that day a son and heir was born to the illustrious name of Hoskins. A bill has been introduced in the New York Senate providing for the suspension of the coinage of the standard silver dollar for two years and the issue of one and two dollar Treasury notes. Tho measure was prepared by the New York Chamber of Commerce.

A. rumour is current in Constantinople that Russia is about to suggest to the Powers tie opening of the Dardanelles, the Sea of Marmora, the Bosphorus, and the Black Sea to the navies of the world, and the Turkish Straits to be placed under international control similar to that of the Suez Canal. No picture probably has attracted more attention in the Reynolds collection, lately exhibited in London, than that of the famous beauty, Elizabeth Gunning, afterward successively Duchesss of Hamilton and Argyll —the same who snubbed Bozzy when he and Dr. Johnson stayed at Inveraray. This lady was the mother of four dukes. Last night at Mr Williams' meeting a free and independent, elector asked the following question:— "Are you in favor of the members only receiving one harmonium ?" What this meant seemed for a ■white to puzzle the member, but at last he grasped the idea that the question had reference to the honorarium, and he answered it as such.—Press.

Vienna has another juvenile musical wonder, a boy of nine years, Pruewer by name, avlio is a virtuoso on the piano and a warm proleye of Liszt and Rubinstein. The former presented him, at tho close of a brilliant concert, with his photograph dedicated to the "wonderful pianist, Jnlius Pruower, who, in his ninth year, is capable of playing a Bach fugue by heart, and of transposing- difficult music. The son of an old Melbotirne comedian got married against the wish of his father. "Never mind," said the young fellow, " the old man will come round." So bo took his bride to his father's house, and knocked at the door. The old man opened it himself. " I've come," said tho young man. The old man called out to his wife " Sophonisba, he's come." Then the old man added, "Now you can go away again," and slammed the door in his son's face. On Sunday, 11th May, the congregation of St. James' Church, Melbourne, was a little surprised and put into a titter of laughter during the service at tho sudden appearance of the verger and a bald-headed little man (a churchwarden), dodging round tho pulpit as if playing hido-and-scck. It appeared that a cat had found a place (for demotion I suppose), under the pulpit, and despite their efforts, pussy determined not to lose tho chance of religious instruction from the venerable Dean.

The Bishop of London not unfrequently says smart things, and amongst others the following has been told of him : —At the last Convocation the prolate was having a discussion with a clergyman of very advanced views and opinions on the position of the Ritualistic party. "I suppose, my lord," said tho clergyman, "you would have nothing to bring against us provided we keep within the covers of the prayer-book r , " "Oh! certainly not," replied the Bishop : but the worst of it is you do not consider them as l/iiidiiiff. , ' The clergyman 3aw the joke, and discreetly dropped tho subject. There was a sensation at Melton the other day (says tho London World). It recalls the mad freaks of the famous Jack Motton—with this difference, that the latter were premeditated and the other accidental. Count Zinsky, the owner of Zocdone, on whom he won the Liverpool Steeplechase last year, drove an old hunter in a buggy to make a call in the neighborhood of Melton. On Iris servant getting down to open the gate leading to the house tho horse backed towards a ditch at the roadside, and on being struck with the whip to "straighten" him, he rushed at the opposite hedge, took it in his stride, and landed safely in the field beyond without injuring the buggy or unshipping Count Zinsky, who describes the sensation as "rather peculiar." It was a rather marvellous escape under any circumstances. Such an act in a sporting novel was described by the critics as an impossible feat.

To pay or not to pay, that is the question—whether 'tis better for me to refuse to tako a local paper, and deprive my family from reading all the news, or pay up promptly what the printer asks, and by such payment cheer him ? No pay, no paper —then no more shall I be posted in the news and local haps throughout the town, and divers topics—'tis a consummation that I long have feared. To pay—to stop ? To stop ! perchanco to lose —aye, there's the rub ! for in that stop no interest do I take in any of the affairs that move the town, and such a shuffling of all that's good must make me pause. There's the respect which every editor maintains for those "who come down with tho cash and ne'er delay to settle up "the little bill." for who would bear the pointed squibs and pungent paragraph, which far too oft reiicets upon tho man who fails to settle his subscription bill ? I'll haste me now unto. the editor, and, "with my purse plethoric in my hand, will settle up in full, one year from date, by paying , to him from my ready cash the sum which is his due.—" Hawkeye." The London correspondent of the Adelaide Register tells this extraordinary story:—A short time ago a superintendent of police and companions called at the house of a gentleman holding a high position in society. " We should like to see all your servants, male and female ?" The men and women came up. " There is no one here we want. Have you no other?" " There is the lady's-maid." ""Would you object to have her txp, just to satisfy us ?" said the superintendent. 5 " Certainly not ? ' Presently the woman, a tiny woman, came in. The detective looked at her, touched her on

the shoulder and said " You're the man Aye want!" The pseudo lady's-maid was a ticket-of-leaveman, hairless and diminutive. He had not reported himself to the police for some time, and they had looked for him. I understand that the lady uj>on whom tl • convict attended has not yet recovered the shock of the discovery. This true history was mentioned to a doctor the other day, with a hint upon the difficulty of carrying on such a false personation. He had been in attendance, he said, on an old lady during the last twenty years of her life, and she lived to eighty, and when she died she was found a forerunner of our ticket-of-leave friend.

Tho Tiraaru Herald is glad that Dr Haast has got the Royal Geographical Society's gold medal, because Dr Hector will be green with envy till he also gets one, and a healthy rivalry between scientific men is a good thing. But there is something comical in the worthy curator of the Christchurch Museum being rewarded for his explorations in the New Zealand Alps, and tho Herald cannot help inquiring, without wishing to be personal, whether the Society ever saw the worthy and learned Herr Yon Professor. Does he look the sort of man to explore Alpine peaks? There is a story told of him— ben trovato anyhow —that when he was once prowling about the hills at the foot of Mount Cook, he stopped for the fiftieth time to admire the scenery, and exclaimed :—" Poof, poof! Ach Gottes! Then dis is the soommit of Mount Cook. Gott in himmel! lam glat lam got higher as no oder man. ;Poof, ! lam bike Robinsohn Crusoe, monarch of all what I survey ! " Just at this proud moment his solitude was invaded by the voice of Big Mick about a hundred feet or so above him, calling out " Coo-ec ! I say, you down there! Have you seen any of my sheep knocking about as you came along r , " Tableau. Donnerundblitzenspitztausendteufeln! !!