A NEEDED REFORM.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 4006, 24 May 1884, Page 2 (Supplement)

A NEEDED REFORM.

BY THE BURLINGTON HAWY-EYE TRAVELLER.

'We must havo reform,' the sad passenger remarked as tbe train moved on its way to the north, and he spread a newspaper down on the floor to put his feet upon. ' Look at this seat. If I should light the best cigar in America, one of tho kind that Grant smokes, and begin to fill this car with tho pleasant aroma of pure Havanna tobacco, the brakosman would take away my cigar, speak harshly to mc, order me into the smokine car, and threaten to put me off the train if "I did it again, while one-half the women in the oar would make faces, pretend to be sick and open all the windows they could reach. But any animal who chooses can Bit anywhere, in any car lie may select, fill his mouth with black plug tobacco, and make a most disgusting swamp on the floor, aud not a man connected with tho road from the rear breakesman down to tbe president will say one word to him about it. And then I come along, who hate tobacco in anything except smoke, and have to sit with my feet in a puddle. It is a shame. All passenger trains should have one tattle car, and compel every man who chews tobacco to ride in it.' ' And they should also haul one flat car, said the cross passenger, ' for tho fresh air woman who always insists on keeping tho car window open. She should sit on a slab seat on an open gravel car and breathe ashes and cinders to bor soul's content.'

' And a dark and lonely box-car,' said the tall, thin passenger, "for the man who whistles. The whistlers could all get together in there and sit down and drum on tho tides of the car with thoir fingers, and whistle all the tunes they didn't know, and the rest of the train would be happy.'^ ' And a Kalamazao velocipede,' said the fat passenger, 'for the man who drums on the floor with his feet every time the train stops.' Here tho man on the wood-box suddenly ceased pounding his favorite overture with his heels. ' By the time he had worked his knees, on express time, forty-five miles,' continued tho fat-passenger, without appearing to notice anything, ' he might be able to give his feet a vacation for two or three hours.' ' And occasionally,' the man on the woodbox soid leaning forward to gaze earnestly into tho stove,' they might put onßarnum's Jumbo car for the mau who always has to ride orer the trucks for fear of springing the car.' There was an embarrassing silenco of a minute or two, when tho fat passenger said something about refrigerator carsfor the mau who was too fresh to keep in a day coach, and then everybody began to fear the conversation was taking on a Congressional aspect, and so the committee rose, and shortly after the house adjourned.