THE JONES FAMILY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3942, 8 March 1884, Page 6 (Supplement)

THE JONES FAMILY.

Mil JONES HAS AX EVENING AT HOME.. 'Maria,' said Mr Jones, as he sat and enjoyed an evening at horno —because he had nowhere else to go —'itseems to me that on a suspicious occasion like tins ' —and ha looked fondly at her—' as if Heaven and home were aiioiivmous terms.' ...

'Sin-onomous,' corrected Mrs Jones, taking several pins and a ball of twine out of her mouth, and- placing a patch on that part of Willio's pants where it would do the most good. ' Jephtha, why don't you read aloud evenings, instead of keeping all the good things to yourself ?' 'Is reading allowed?' asked Jone3 innocently. ' 1 thought you preferred to talk.' ' Well, I do,' snapped Mrs J., ' when I have somebody to talk to, .which.isn't very often.'

' I'll read, exclaimed Jones, hurriedly reversing tho book he held in his hand —' 11 And it came to pass' ' ; . ' Save that for Sunday,' interrupted Mrs Jones. ' Read some sweet thing about home, or the friends ;. some poetry. 1 love to hear you read poetry, Jephtha,' ' with a sly wink at nobody. • • , ... .-, :

Thus encouraged, Jones, who is an amateur elocutionist, and has fired the neighborhood with his dramatic readings in times past, till the neighbors threatened to fire him, seized a Volume of poetry, and in q, voice that) made ' Freedom shriek when Kosiusco fell,' read aloud that touching poem, beginning :

Which shall it be, which shall it.be ? I looked at John —John looked at me.

There was silence which could have been felt with a rolling-pin when Jones ceased to read, and wiped the foam-flecks from his pallid lips, and Maria was in tears. ■• 'I know you've wakoned the boys,' she said, in a voice that sounded small and still after his, 'and they'll want a drink.'

'The children!' murmured' Jones, with fixed eyes, ' the dear sweet children! M-M-Maria, do we 'preciate these dear ones as we ought to ■?'

' I do,' said Mrs Jonce. shortly. : ' I hear them talking now—whore's my slipper ?' 'No, Maria,' returned Jones, whose soul was melted within him by efforts in the line of elocution. ' I will go and see if the innocent darlings need anything.' . , ; .And he went unstairssoftly, repeating with a Salvini-Hossi-Booth effect! Which shall it be, which shall it be ? ' I looked at John —John looked at me. 'The innocent darlings '.heard him coming, and desisting from a pillow.fight in which -they were engaged, they buried their heads in the sheets and wore instantly sound asleep, looking like dimpled cherubs, with an occasional snore to assert-their relation to the human. Jones wiped the salt tears of love arid elocu-' lion from his eyes, and bent fondly; over them; then he crept out and waited a moment in the'hall to listen to their gentle breathing ; suddenly-it ceased. Then a dreadful suspicion haunted Jones —they had been playing 'possum, the little wretches. He vr»ited, . ■ h the old P' woro tho words of Cherub No. 1, as soon as he got the sheet out of his 'mouth. ( Yes,' answered Cherub No. 2, ' be was acrying, Willie. Ain't he a- duffer, though ■?' ' I'll strike him for five cents to-morrow ; see if I don't !' 'Oh, he'll be himself again to-morrow, Willie ; he'll stamp around and say, 'Get out of my way, little imps,' just as he allus does. I don't tako no stock in him, I don't.' ' Let's play we was pa/.suggested Willie. v ' Where's them boys ? I'll teach them to touch my paper! I'll tan their hides for 'cm ! I'll show 'cm who's master in this house!" ■ When Jones got back to tho sitting-room his face was red—very red —and his oyes were a vengeful glaro. Mrs Jones looked up at him as he etalkcd in, and asked innocently : ' ' Switch shall it be, switch shall it be ?' ' Both !' shouted the enraged parent. 'Of all tho unruly brats I ever saw, I do think, Maria, ours are tho worst. I'll lather them both to-morrow.'—Detroit Free Press.