SONS OF GUNS OF DETROIT.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3914, 5 February 1884, Page 4

SONS OF GUNS OF DETROIT.

John William Blank belonged to the Ancient and Modern and Highly Honorable Sons of Guns of Detroit. If it wasn't that, it was somo other fraternal order which meets every Monday night, and pays so much to the heirs of every member who happens to die John William happened to die the other month, and a committee was appointed to draft resolutions and present them to his wife in person. Tho first part of their duties was fulfilled to the entiro satisfaction of the lodge, but tho committee had some little trouble in finding Mrs Blank. They traced her from one neighbor to another, and finally found her at her sister's, hat and shawl on, and ready to go out. " Resolutions of sympathy, eh ? Well, read 'em."

The Chairman of the committee proceeded to read that John William was a good husband and a kind father, and a citizen of unapproachable integrity, when the widow interrupted: " Too much taffy. Wo used to have a fight every week, and as for his being a kind father we never had any children. As for his integrity he stole all tho wood we burned last winter !"

The Chairman gulped down something and continued to read that John William was an upright brother, a man with a heart full of sympathy for the misfortunes of others, and that charity and forgiveness were tho beacon fires which guided his footsteps. "Fudge," sneered the widow. "I washed for the money to pay his dues to the lodge, and all the sympathy anyone got out of him wouldn't buy a cent's worth of courtplaster. Forgiveness ! Well, some of you ought to have sat down on his hat sometime. He'd have revenge if it cost him a. year in Stale Prison. Beacon fires is purty good, considerin' that wo never had a decent siove in tho bouse." " Madam, your husband has been called hence." "Exactly; I was at tho funeral and ought to know." " lie was cut down like a flower." " W.II, flowers oim-hc to let whiskey and saloons and plug-tobacco and old sledge alone." " And we trust that our loss is bis gain.' •'Well, if he's any better off I'm glad on't, but I gUess the gain is on your side. Now that's all I want to hear. I can pick up a thousand better men than him with my eyes shut. I'm in a hurry to go down and see a woman who offers to sell a furlined circular for fifteen dollars, and if you have any more highfalutin Shakespeare to git off my sister will take it in and save it till 1 come back."—Detroit Free Press.