MR SPOOPENDYKE HAS A SESSION OF PLANT TRANSPLANTING,

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3905, 25 January 1884, Page 4

MR SPOOPENDYKE HAS A SESSION OF PLANT TRANSPLANTING,

"My iloar," said Mrs Spoopeudyko, looking up from her plate, unci regarding her husband'earnestly , '' My dear, it is getting late in "the season, and I'm afraid my plants Trill be spoiled by the frost. Don't you think it is tirno they were taken in ?' '"P'raps 50, ,, suited, ..Hi Spoopoadyko.

"If you think so why don't you take'em up?" "Won't you doit, dear?" smiled Mrs Spoopeudyke, sweetly. "Come on! replied Mr Spoopendyke dropping everything and preparing for the fray." " You want to be a little careful with some of them," she suggested. "A good many of them aro tender plants and want to be handed gingerly." " You trust me," retorted Mr Spoopendyke, grabbing a rose bush with both hands and giving a prodigious jerk. "Doggast the bush !" he roared, as his hands slipped off, leaving two-thirds of the skin behind. " I didn't mean that one," squealed Mrs Spoopendyke. " That one is to be covered up with.Htraw. Try some of the others. , "This one of'em?' asked Mr Spoopendyke, and he caught hold of a tough old geranium. " Como into the house out of the cold!" he cried, apostrophizing the plant. "Come forth from the teeming earth and be blessed with light and warmth in the garret!" and he took a death grip on the plant half way between the root and the top. " The question before the house is, dirt or Spoopendyke, shall the ground absorb him, or shall the dod gasted fruit of much cultivation let go its hold and come out of the, garden, Maud!' and with this exordium, delivered with a yell, Mr Spoopendyke broke the geranium off short and sent it over the fence to join the rose. " You are loosing them all," cried Mi's Spoopendyke, her face flushed and her soul vexed by tho fate of her plants. "I wanted to save that one." "Next year we'll plant 'em the other end up, and then Ihey will grow out of the ground on their own accord !" snorted Mr Spoopendyke, making for a tuberro.se. " Now, lot's see what this thing is tied to ! If it isn't, made fast to a Chinese laundry on the other side of the globe, we'll see what the bottom looks like beforo the intense cold sets in !" "Don't, pull, that up!" protested Mrs Spoopendyke, in despair. " I only want to .save the bulb of that!" " I Tear what the lady says !" demanded Mr Spoopendykfi, grasping the stalk, and spreading his legs for an unparalleled exertion. "We are indifferent to the upper works, but the bulb has become a matter of necessity! Put aside vain pride and show—!" but hero ho put in alibis strength, and rolled half way across tho garden, crushing vines and shrubs and winding up against a fence with a crash that shook every board in it. "Did any of the bulb get awny ?"' inquired Mr Spoopi'iidyke, dazed by his fall. " Am I to understand that tho excavation was not a success ?" he bawled, recovering himself with a mighty effort. "Lend mo to where the balance of this measly matinee is located ! Does this thinpf belong to the show?" and ho caught hold of a tomato vino. "Is there a bulb annexed to (his thintr of beauty and joy until I get hold of it ? Be still, sad heart, until I get started!" and ho wrenched the vino from the socket and whirled it around his head. "One more bulb to hear from !" and ho pawed into tho earth in vain search for the root, showering tho dirt in all directions. "There !" he puffed, when he had built a sort of cave in the place out of which tho vino had come. "I'm most through!" and bo went at it atfuin. " Dust thou art, to dust rcturnest, ne'er was spoken of this holo!" and with this peroration Mr Spoopcridykcfgathcri.'d himself up into a lump and came down hard on both foot :'n the excavation ho had made. "I might have known that you didn't know anything about it," mourned Mrs Spoopendyke, who was anxious to distract his attention from the fact that there were several beds of flowers he had not marauded. "Might, might ye!" roared Mr Spoopendyke, rising in his wrath as he found it impossible to convince his wife that he done it all.for the host. " Think ye might have known that I didn't know anything about it. With what ye might have known iti this world and what yo don't know, yo only want a name carved in your back, and tho paint scratched off, to be the front seat in the first-class in a public school. Some day when it rains, and I can't get out on account of tho toothache, I'm going to fit you up with eig-ht languages and a' reputation, and start an intelligence office with you," and with this tribute to his wife's capacity, Mr Spoopendyko plunged into the house, put on his hat hind side before, and darted out to tell his friend Speckleworth that he thought something of buying the lot next door, and raising fruit next season, as he was sure his experience in farming would stand him iti good stead and see him through to complete success. " I don't care," murmured Mrs Spoopendyke, as the door banged after him, and she set to work to take up the remainder of tho plants. "I have found out how much he knows about shrubs. Next spring, when I get ready to plant, I'll ask him to take up somo more bulbs."