THE BAD BOY AGAIN IN TROUBLE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3860, 30 November 1883, Page 4

THE BAD BOY AGAIN IN TROUBLE.

'' An' sioh a boy as Geordic had Wad male' tho very dell go mad !" —Burns.

" Well, I see you have got another black oyo," said tho grocery man to tho boy, as he came in with a kero.sinc can, and sat down by a peach basket while the groceryman drew tho kero.sinc "How did you get it ? Havo a fight, or did your pa knock rou down with a chair ?'

" Got it trying to bo an angel," said the boy, as ho fumbled around the mosquito bar over tho basket of peaches, to see if there wasn't a place where a peach might fallout "You know that blind woman that grinds the hand organ down on the corner. Well, a person would think that a poor blind woman avllo lias to .support herself and five children grinding out the a\vfule.-;t music ever was, would be the last person in the world to have tricks played on her, but this morning I found a couple of dudes dropping lozenges in the cigar box that is on her organ for pennies. The first time they dropped in one the old lady smiled and took it out and cat it, but I wasn't very mad, cause I thought the dudes would surprise her by dropping in a five dollar gold for a nickel, and make her feel good. But the next time they dropped in a cayenne popper lozenger, and they got behind a peanut .stand to see how it worked. She bit it, and then she opened her mouth and bio wed cold wind on her parched tongue, and I almost lafEed at first, she made such a face, but when 1 see the tears begin to pour out of her poor blind eyes, and roll down her withered checks, and she took the corner of her apron and wiped the tears away, as she stopped right in the middle of ' Annie Laurie,' and the organ drew a long breath, and when I looked at those two dudes la/ling at her, T got crazy. Somehow I felt as though Unit poor old woman was my ma, and before I knew it, I jumped right in amongst those dudes, and knocked one of thorn through the peanut stand on the hot chestnut roaster, and I kicked tho other where it hurt, and he ran, and tin: other one said, ' What you got to do about the old woman, don't you know—' and 1 said she was a friend of mine, 'cause she was blind, and then the Italian hit mo in the eye with the hard peach, and the dude-told him I was a terrier, and the policeman jerked my coat-collar off, but when I told him what it was all about, be iravc mo back my coat-collar and chased the dude, and the old lady thanked me with her trembling lips, that wore smarting , from ihe lozenger, and I Jwcnt homo to get my collar sewed on, and pa was going to take it out of my hide. I guess if I hadn't told him about the blind woman, he would have been kicking mo }'et. Sometimes think it don't pay to be too darned good. For instance , now in this row, all the friend I have got is this blind woman, and she will not know mo when she sees me. The two dudes and the Italian will law for me, and (ho policeman will, very likely, bo told by the dude that it was me who fired the lozenger in there, and I have got to wear this black ej'o for two weeks, just for having a heart in me. Do you think it paj\s to bo good, or didn't you ever try ith"'

"You bet it pays," said tho grocery man, as he stuck the nozzle of the korosine can into a potato, and ripped off tho mosquito bar and told tho boy to help himself to peaches. "You havo got a friend in mo, and you can call on me for a certificate of character at any time. A boy that protects tho poor and unfortunate is a thoroughbred, if ho gets a black oyo occasionally. But I don't see how it is that tho minister is down on you SO. Ho was in hero this morning to gel trusted for a number three mackerel, and ho said lie would walk around a block any time rather than meet you, because j'ou asked so many questions that he couldn't answer. What have you been asking him lately!" .

'6, I only wanted to get a littlo light on yachting. Ho is paid a salary to enlighten his congregation, and bo always wants us to ask questions, but lately he has turned mo away. I asked him if he didn't think Mount Ararat would have been a boss place to hunt, just after Capt. Noah had turned all tho game loose, and the water was high so you could sneak right up to elephants, and tigers, and chipmunks, and fox squirrels, and the minister, who had boon tolling what a boss time ho had last winter hunting - deer up in Michigan, got offended and told pa he bettor dismiss mo with a boot. 1 don't know as it would bo any more harm to hunt deer on Mount Ararat along about 23-19 years B.C. than it would now, though they might have had a game law that would protect the game, on account of there being only a limited supply. But I suppose the game would have boon very poor, cause it had been shut up in tho ark a long time without any food, nnd the captain of the ark full of bug juice."

"Hold on now, boy, don't be bearing false witness against thy neighbor," said the grocery man, horrified at the remarks of the boy. "There is no record that Noah had anything to drink on the ark. Give Noah his due, whatever you do."

"Well, maybe you are right, but as I understand it he had a terrible appetite for intoxicating fluid on shore, and one would suppose if he didn't have a bar on the yacht he would have strapped a couple of jugs on the mules when they went aboard, and ho must havo known it was going to be a long and tedious cruise, and very lonesome, nnd if ho had anything stimulating on board ho took a nip occasionally. And you couldn't blame him. Everybody's appetite is better when sailing, and Noah had to run the boat night and day and it wouldn't be strange if ho spliced the main brace. By Jingo, I should think that Noah would have got sick of a managerie, and been mighty glad when he struck the top of the mountain and turned them loose, and when the water wont down, and the animals went sliding down hill, falling over each other to find a good place to nibble grass, it must have been a pic-nic to Noah. But what do you suppose tho lions found to eat ? They live on meat, and as there were only two animals of a kind, they had to wait until some small animals could be raised before they could eat, 'cause if they eat any animal, that settled it, and they wouldn't never bo any of those animals on earth. Say, don't you think those lions had pretty good control over their appetites not to make mince meat of tho other animals r How do you account for tho fact that all those animals lived without anything to cat?"

" Oh, I don't know. You mako mo tired. I don't wonder tho minister can't get along with you. Maybe Noah took along fresh meat enough to last the lions a year, and baled hay for the elephants and giraffes and cattle. Fix it any way you want to. Darned if I know any thing about it," said tho grocery man as he took apiece of sandpaper and began rubbing the rust off tho choose knife.

" That's the way with all of you," said the boy, as he took the kerosene can and started for the door. "I think that flood was only a sprinjj fresliot, and that tho world couldn't havo been drowned. How did they know that America was overflowed, when America was not discovered till 1192, for thousand years afterwards ? I am going homo and ask the hired girl about it. She is a Catholic, but she knows more about history than all of you, and she don't get mad when I ask her questions. By gosh, I would havo liked to take a breech loading shot gun and paddled along in a skiff up to Mount Ararat, just after Noah had ran out to the gang plank and lot tho animals off. I could have got elephants and behemoths, and rhinoceroses enough for a mess, I bet you,' and tho boy wont out with his kerosene and a mind well stored with knowledge, as well as a pistol pocket well stored with peaches.—Peck's Sun, Sept. 22.