HOW TO GET RID OF A JUDGE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3835, 31 October 1883, Page 4

HOW TO GET RID OF A JUDGE.

The Maryborough (Victoria) Advertiser relates the following:—There is a room in the Shamrock Hotel, Sandhurst —a very comfortable room, set apart for the use of commercial travellers, and iv Avhich they dino very pleasantly together. A certain County Court judge found out this room, aud found it so agreeable that on a. recent A'isit to Sandhurst he took up his quarters there, greatly to the annoyance of th" commercials, Avhose joviality avus seriously disturbed and damped by the presence of the stern and austere man. Delicate hints were given to his judgeship to "clear out," but his honor was quite impervious, aud took no more notice of the tender suggestions that he should vacate the premises than ho would of tho asscvoratiou of innocence made by the guilty prisoner. The commercials were nonplussed for a time ; but a few days since, just beforo dinner, and just before tho judge Avas expected on the scone, the question oMiis exclusion by some civil moans or -other Avas argued and debated. "Oh, leave him to me," said one, "I'll settle him." And accordingly, Avhen his honor entered tho dining-room, with a stage guffaw, tho commercial wont up to him behind, struck him an unmerciful ship on tho back, and said, "Well, lioav goes business, old felloAV? Many lines to-day?" The judge; "You are mistaken, sir." (Avith great severity.) The commercial : " Mistaken be Mowed ! Don't I know you very avcll ?" -The judge (looking daggers and thunderbolts at commercial) : '' Sir, you do not know me," Tho commercial: "Thatjbc hanged! Didn't I often see you selling Canterbury calces for Swallow andAriell, of Sandridgo ? Don't you remember the day when you upset the cart, and all tho biscuits

tumbled out on the road near Murghcboluc?" The judge : " Perhaps when you know whom you aro addressing, you may feel sorry for your impertinence. I am Judge S-—-." The commercial (eyeing his honor from head to foot): "Well, I like your cheek ! You Judge S ! Come old Canterbury cakes ; no more nonsense, sit down to dinner." Exit Judge S ,in extreme iudignation, muttering, " C'antcrbury cakes! Swallow and Aricll ! Good heavens '."