"DOING" THE GAS COMPANY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3833, 29 October 1883, Page 4

"DOING" THE GAS COMPANY.

He was trying to sell the stranger his house and lot, and after tho prospective purchasers had wandeml through the attic, and nosed around the kitchen, and poked into the closets, and rattled the windows to see if they were tight, and smelled the cistern-water to see how much dead cat it would assay to the gallon, the owner of tho property' took him down into the cellar, which ho had spent all night in whitewashing. The meters, which were stuck up on a shelf in one corner of tho cellar, attracted the stranger's attention. " How much does your gas cost you a year f" asked he. The householder gave a knowing wink, poked the stranger in the ribs and said: " You don't look like aman who would give a thing away, and, seeing as you're going to buy the house anyway, I don't mind telling you. It don't cost me a cent." "It dont':" said tho stranger with evident surprise. "No, not a red," said the other, "and it's all owing to a little observation on my part as to the workings of that meter there. I'll explain. You see when I first moved into the house I was doing a good business, and so I had everything fixed up to my tony stylechandeliers in every room in the house, kitchen included, and other luxuries to correspond. But after a wlvle my business beiran to run down, and I had to .shut off my expenses. My wife suggested that we economise on tho gas bill, so I bought a lot of lamps, and we stopped using the gas burners, except in the parlor when we had company. When the man with the lantern came around to look at the meter I fairly kicked myself with joy to think how it would astonish him, but it didn't. The bill for that month was just as big as before, and when I squealed out, there was a motor to back them up. I couldn't get round that. So I put the lamps away in the garret and used every gas-burner in the bouse. Kept two chandeliers in the bedroom day and night, just for luck. Bill for that month just the same. Then I thought I might as well be getting all the good out of that meter that it would stand, so I told the Gas Company that I should like to have a couple of chandeliers put in the stable for the use of the hired man. They ciimc and put them in, and the very same day a man came to fix up the meter. Said some of the meters were wearing out inside, and had to have some of their drivingwheels renewed or something of that sort. Tho hired girl said lie took out ii cog-wheel and put in a bigger one, and then wound it up like an eight day clock. At the end of the month tho bill was twice as big as before. And yet we hadn't used any more gas, because the hired man ran away with the horse at the end of the month, and we hadn'd any need to light up the stable like a ball-room. Well that month's bill settled me, you can just bet. I tapped a hole in tho pipe leading to the barn, ran another pipe over to our next neighbor, and let him have all tho gas ho wanted at 10 per cent off. Inside of two months I was supplying the whole square, and it didn't cost me a cent, more than it did to supply my house and stable. By this little scheme, and by strict economy I have been able to amass a considerable sum of money, and as soon as you take this house off inj- hands I'm yoing- to more into tho big brick down at the corner. I'll turn tin's little monopoly over right into your liiinds. It is a little dangerous ; but if you've got the nerve your gas needn' cost you a cent, as I said at first, and " "My gas isn't likely to cost me anything anyhow," said the stranger, interrupting him for the first time. "Whyr" "Because," said tho stranger solemnly, " I'm the new secretary for the gas company "