THE IRREPROACHABLE WALTZER.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3590, 13 January 1883, Page 4

THE IRREPROACHABLE WALTZER.

There i.s a widespread feeling among young ladies that no girl can waltz with any comfort unless she is supported by a firm pressure in the region of the waist. It is a mistake to suppose that the sex of the person exerting this pressure is of any consequence in the mind of the waltzer. She does not care anything about waltzing with young men ; in fact, she does not care anything about young men in any circumstances ; but she needs to be supported in order to be able to waltz. A girl's arm is not strong enough to yield the desired support, and hence" there is no satisfaction in waltzing with other girls. What she wants is support, and not a young man, and if she could obtain the former without the latter she would be perfectly contented. The opinion h:is been so forcibly and freely expressed by countless young ladies when reproached with their alleged desire to waltz with young men that we cannot have the least doubt that it literally and strictly is true. Young men when practising the waltz step occasionally clasp a li<i-ht chair in the rig-lit firms, and seem to find it :i jrreat assistance. This shows us that while a young man must clasp something in order to waltz, it is not absolutely necessary that he should clasp a girl. The invention of "M'Gonegal's Patent Irreproaohalc Waltzer" meets precisely the case. The "Irreproachable Waltzer" consists of a stout frame of light wood of about five feet in height, and remotely resembling an oldfashioned kite frame. At the top of a frame is a padded "rest" for a lady's hand, and at about the middle of the frame is a jointed arm, capable of being placed round a young lady's waist and securely fastened 'in that position with a thumbscrew. Tlia fviiiiio has two feet furnished with castors, each one of which has a universal joint, so that it can turn freely in any direction. The whole affair only weighs 51b., audit is made to fold together, so that a lad}- can cany it in her hand either with or without a shawl strap. When the fair owner of one of these frames desires to waltz in a perfectly unobjectionable way she unfolds her " irreproachable waltzer," clasps its arm around her waist, and, putting her hand on the "rest," begins to waltz. She finds that the machine gives a perfectly satisfactory support to her back, and that it revolves in keeping with the movement of the waltz with the greatest ease. No one, however fastidious, can claim that the "irreproachable waltzer" is objectionable on the score of morality, and as it never treads on any ghTs dress, and never is guilty of losing - step, it must be greatly preferable in every way to the ordinary young man. With the help of this new invention waltzing will bo stripped of its present objectionable features, and will become popular among the very strictest of Methodists and Presbyterians. It is to bo expected that it will be hailed with enthusiasm by all young Indies, who will be simply delighted to find that they can waltz without the annoying presence of young men, whose only value as waltzers is, according to the best authorities, the support which they give to their partners.