FUNNIOSITIES.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3579, 30 December 1882, Page 4

FUNNIOSITIES.

A New England paragrapher has discovered that a dog's lungs is the seat of its pants. ' Can you find room for a scribe on your paper ?' ' Not unless you want to subscribe.' And again was that scholarly youth crushed. Somehow staid, sober, i - eligious people can enjoy a good scandal if the object is a deacon in some other church than their own. The swan, we are told, sings just before dying. This beautiful example might well be imitated by the cat. A child being asked what were the three great feasts of the Jews, promptly replied, ?t Breakfast, dinner, and supper." A burglar got into tho house of a country lawyer the other night. After a brief struggle the lawyer succeeded in robbing him. An exemplary " young lady up-town is very particular about closing the windowcurtains of her room bofore retiring for the night, in order to prevent ' the man in the moon' from looking in. A Newport snob recently went rowing with a poodle. Tho boat capsized, the snob was drowned and the poodle swam ashore ; and we are longing to know if this is a case of the survival of the fittest. Three hundred thousand accordcons are made yearly by one manufacturing company at Berlin. Afler this information it is easy to account for the immense volume of emigration flowing out of Fatherland. Tho London Lancet says : c No man who respects himself drinks before dinner, and no man who respects his dinner drinks after it.' The editor of the Lancet agrees with us, that a cocktail before breakfast is the proper caper. We read frequently of some persons whose hair has turned quite white in a single night through grief or fear, but the white-haired man who goes into a barbers shop and -comes out in half an hour with hair and whiskers black as tire raven's wing never get 3 a line in the paper .