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Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3187, 15 September 1881, Page 4

A promising youth recently surprised bis father by asking, ' Father do you like mother ?' Why, yes, of course.' ' And she like 3 you ?' ' Of course she does.' ' Did she ever say so ?' ' Many a time my son.' 'Did she marry you because Bhe loved you ?' ' Certainly she did.' The boy carefully scrutinised his parent, and, after a long pause, asked, ' Well, was she as near-sighted as she is now ?' " Pig," in old-fashioned Scotch, says a contemporary, was a term always used for a coarse earthenware jar or vessel. The story is well known of a good-natured chambermaid who said to an English lady who lately arrived in Scotland for tho first time in her life, " Would you like a het crock in your bed this cauld nicht, mem ?" " A whab ?" said the lady. " A pig, mem. Shall I put a pig in yonr bed to keep yon warm?" " Leave the room, young woman P Tour mistress shall hear of your insolence !" " Nae offence, I hope, mem. It was my mistress that bade me ask, and I'm sure she meant it in kindness." The lady looked Grizzy in the face, and saw at a glance that no insult was intended; but she was quite at a loss how to account for the proposal. Her curiosity wa3 however roused, and she said in a milder tone, "Is it common in this country, my girl, for ladies to hare pigs in their beds ?" "And gentlemen hae them too, mem, when the weather's cauld." "But you surely would not put the pig between the sheets?" "If you please, mem, it will do you maist good tliere." " Between the sheets! It would dirty them, girl. I could never sleep with a pig between the sheets?" "Never fear, mom. You'll sleep far mair comfortable. I'll steek the mouth o' 't tightly, and tit it up in a poke." "Do you sleep with a pig yourself in cold weather ?" " No, mem : pigs are only for gentlefolks that lie on feather beds. I sleep on cauf (chaff in sacking) with my neigh-bour-lass." "Calf! Do j-.u sleep with a calf between you ?" said the lady, " No, mem ; you're jokin' now," said Grizzy ; 1 we lie on the tap o' 'fc."