WROTE IT HIMSELF.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3186, 14 September 1881, Page 4

WROTE IT HIMSELF.

Three score and ten is not a very green old age if, as astronomers assert, tho period of time in which this earth will be inhabited is as a minute to the eternity of its actual existence. And yet some people really forget that they were ever young. i here she stood, the apple of their eyes, trembling with suppressed weeps. Their frowns deepened as the mistress wiped her glasses preparatory to reading a letter found in the girl's pocket. It began, ' Angel of my existence.' 'What!' howled the male parent, 'you don't mean to say it begins like that ? Oh ! that a child of mine should correspond with But pray, proceed, my dear.' 'Hem! existence spelled with "a" too!' proceeded the mistress. ' Why, the lunatic can't spell,' chipped in the old man. ' It is impossible for me to describe the joy with which your presence has filled me.' ' Then why does he attempt it, tho ass! But pray, don't let me interrupt you. Go on ; go on ; let joy be unconfined.' ' I have spent the whole night in thinking of you s —(that's picturesque, anyway),— ' and in bitterly deriding the obstinate, besotted old whelp who will not consent to our union.' ' Oh ! let me get at him ! Whelp ! Is thy servant a toad that he should thus be spoken of ?' 'But Theodorus, my dear,' interrupted his other half. ' Yes, yes ; one moment. I was about to observe that tho hand that could pen such words would not hesitate to scalp the most cherished relative.' ' Theodorus, I didn't see this over the leaf.' 'Eh ! let me see ; hum ; " Yours with all tho love of my heart —Theodorus, May 10th, 1835.' Why, bless my eyes, it's one of my letters !' [Sensation.] ' Yes, pa,' chimed in the ' Olive Branch,' ' I found it in tho drawer yesterday—only you wouldn't let me speak.' •You may go to the park, my child. Hem! we've made a nice mess of it.' ' Yes, my love. Next time we will look at the date first.' —Melbourne Bulletin.