THE LIME-KILLS CLUB.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3181, 8 September 1881, Page 4

THE LIME-KILLS CLUB.

' Let me warn ye,' began the old man as Pieties Smith hung up the water dipper and eat down with a heavy jar ; ' Let me warn ye dat de man who has the mos' inimies and de man who flatters hisself on his bluntness, truthfulness, an' common sense. Ie grandest motto on airth am de one which says, ' Spoke de truf at all times,' but it ain't the wisest one to foiler. I has foun' dat exaggertishun pleases whar truf hurts, an' dat flattery amuses whar truf engendei's anger. Spoke de truf of your ncyburs, an' one of you will have to move inside of a y'ar. Spoke de truf of yer friends an , you will be confronted by a legion of inirnie; , . You mtiy know in your own mind dat dis man am a rogue, dat one a rascal, an' de odder right up and down wicked, but ye mustn't talk what ye know. One blunt word will upsot a hull tiayburhood. One truful statement will raise up a host of howlin inimies. De_ pusson who won't flatter an' cajole am avoided and suspected. De biggest inimies I have in all dis" world am people who have had my honest , opinyun, an' to whom I have epoken de plain truf. Only one man out of fifty axes yer honest opinyun wid any ideah of 'ceptin' it if it differs from his. Not one in a hundred axes yer advice wid an ideah of follorin , it onless it jibes wid his plans. ' Darfore, I say to you, be blunt only when you have no keer for friendship. Be truful only when you am ready to make inimies,

Condemn only when you am all packed up an , ' ready to become a hermit. Tell a lie about a "man :m : hi will grin ober it. -.Hit. him wid de t.ruf, an , he will follw you until lie has secured revenge. Tn walkin' aroun' Put half a clay I ken make a score of men fripnds by praisin' de looks 01" a hat. do set of a coat, de grace of a step, or de fit of a nefv par butes. Months and months ago I dropped a word of praise for a cur dog which was trottin' 'long behind a citizen. De' odder day dat same man walked past twenty to gib me a job of whitewashing Fabt is, though I'm old an' bald-headed an' stoop shouldered, it does me a heap of good tojhave some man stop me on the street an' lie'to me like blazes in sayin , dat I'm lookin' as iyoung as a man of thirty. "Wid dese few emblematical remarks, frown off without written notes or prevus preparashum, [ will r.ow abscond an' permit do regular order of bigness to be p.-ocec.ied with.'—Detroit Free Prei*.