"TWO TOLLAR?"

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3174, 31 August 1881, Page 3

"TWO TOLLAR?"

There was a slight blaze on the roof of a house on Russell-street a few days ago, and when the insurance adjusters went up tho make their survey they found that about two dollars would cover all the loss.'

' Two tollar,' exclaimed the owner when he heard the decision —' I cant take no two tollar.'

' But you see for yourself that half a dozen shingles and an hour's work will make good all damages.' ' Gentlemens, you doan' put me off like dot. Vhen my vhife finds dot we vhas on fire she screams boleece and murder und falls down sthairs. Would you let your vhife fall down sthairs for dot sum. If so I goes home mit you und sees der fun.' 'We do not insure husbands and wives, but buildings,' was the reply. ' I know, but mem oldest poy he runs folder fire-box und falls a picket fence oafer, und breaks his good clothes all to pieces. Two tollar ! Dot doan' bay me for goming up here.' ' Yes, but we can only pay for actual damages.' ' Dot's all I vhant. Who stole my dog vhen my houso vhas on fire ? Dot dog ish gone, und he vhas ten tollars wort.' 'Unci maybe you don't insure dem poys who sat on der fence and called out: " Dot ole Dutchman's red nose has set his house on firo !" Do you expect I take such sass like dot for two tollar ! Und vhen der firemens come here dey break mem clothes down mit der ladders, und dey spill wasser all oafer my carpets. Two tollar! Vhell, vhell! you go right avhay from here, und I takes dot old insurance bolicy und steps him into der mudt!'