HIS SOLEMN WARNING.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3160, 15 August 1881, Page 4

HIS SOLEMN WARNING.

c Yaas, there's money made in stocks, no doubt,' said the old man, as he removed his hat and ran Im fingere through his prey locks, ' but it's a reesky bizness ; it's suthin , like betting on where lightning's going to strike, •with the odd 9in favor of hitting the tree you stand under. , ' Then you never speculate?' 'Never. I dig along on the old farm, taking one crop with another, and pulling out etumpe when I've nothing else to do ; and, If I don't make any great shakes, I haven't anything to worry over. I had a puvty solemn warning during the coal-ile excitement, and it cured me o' speculatin'.' ' How was that ?' ' Waal, I was a widower then; wife fell down the well, and was drawed out as stiff as a poker. I had a big farm, lots of stock, and was called purty solid. We all got excited about ile, and all of us dug more or less holes in search of the stuff. All of a sudden a widderlivin' about two miles from me found ile in a dozen places on her farm. She was a widder with a bad nose, freckles, -ill over her face, eyes on the squint, and built up like a camel. But when she struck ile that was a different thing. Old Deacon Spooner, who was a widower, got mashed right away. Our preacher, who had lost his third wife, saw the spec. I thought it over, and concluded she was an angel. I guess some six or seven of us begun courting that widder within sixteen hours after the first sight of ile. I know the procession reached from the gate to the houso.' ' And you got her ? ' Not much I didn't, and that's what I'm thankful for. Somehow or other I couldn't work up to the pint. That noee kinder stood in the way every time I was ready to pop the question. She acted like she wanted me, but Deacon Ppooner got the best of us all, and they made a hitch.' ' And then what ? ' ' Nothing, except she bad dosed that farm with a barrel of ile, and thus got a husband for herself and a home for her fire children. When the news came out, I was so cold along the back bone that they had to kiver me'up with a hoss-blanket; and since f hat time I haven't had the nerve to buy egs;s at 7 cents a dozen and hold 'em for a rise. .