BEER WILL NOT INTOXICATE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3159, 13 August 1881, Page 4

BEER WILL NOT INTOXICATE.

I "have finally ?um to the conclusion that lager beer as a beverage is not intoxicating, I have been told by a German tvbo drunk it nil nite lonsr, just fo try the experiment, and was obliged to go home sober in the morning. I have seen tliis same man drink 18 glasses, and if he was drunk it was in German, and nobody could understand ifc. It is proper enuff to state tliaf. this man iept a lager beer saloon, and could hare no object in stating what was strictly thus. I believe liim to tho Ml extent of my ability. I never drank but three glasses of larger beer in my life, and that made my head ontwist as tho it wuz hung on the end of a string, but I wnz told it wuz owing to my bile being out of place; and I gues= that it wnz so, for I never biled over w«? than I did when I got home that night My wife thot T was going to die, and I was afraid T shouldn't, for it seemed as tho everything T had ever eaten in my life wa° coming to the surface ; and I believe that if my wife hadn't pulled off my boots just as «hfl did, they would have cum thundering up too, Oh, how sicfe I wuz ! Fourteen years ago, and I can taste it now. I never had so much experience in so short a time. If any man shud tell me that lager beer was not intoxicating, I shud believe him ,• but if he should tell me that T wasn't drunk that nifce, but that my stommick was out of order, T shud ask him to stafe over in a few words inst how a man felt and acted when he wm sH up.

Tf T warn't drunk that night, I had some of the most natural simtums that a man ever hnd and kept sober.

Tn Mie RvA Wince it wan about 80 rod« frrm where T drank the larger beer to my bousT, -nd 1 was jest over two honrs on the road, and a hole busted through canh one of my pantaloon neez, and T didn't hay any hat, and tried to open the door by the bellpull, and biccuped awfully, and saw everything in the room trying to get round on the buck side of me, and pitting , down on aeh.iir. I didn't, wait, long enough for it to gpt exactly under me when ifc wuz going round, and I set down a little too soon and missed the chair about 12 inches, and couldn't get up sonn enough to take the next one thnt came along ; and that ain't awl; my wife eed I wuz as drunk as a beest, and, az I sed before, I began to spin up things freely. Tf lngerbeer iz not intoxicating it used me almighty mean, that I know. Still t hardly think that lager beer ix intoxicating, for I have been told so ; and T am probably the only man living who ever drunk any when his liver was not plumb. I don't want to say anything against a harmless temperance beverage ; but if ever I drink env more it will be with my hands tied behind and mi mouth prised open. T don't think lager beer is intoxicating; but, if I remember rite, I think it tasted to me like a glass of soapsuds that a pickle had been put tew soak in.—Jo&h Billings.