OUR FUTURE HISTORY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3147, 29 July 1881, Page 4

OUR FUTURE HISTORY.

(By Sir John Joker. MP) Intending candidates for examination, who are not yet up in the appalling future of Communism, anarchy, and revolution, that, according to the late learned AttorneyGeneral, waits this country shortly after the passing of the Irish Land Bill, may find the following advance paper of questions of considerable use:— 1. Give the name of the last Lord Mayor who was guillotined privately, and had his head put, at his own request, on a pole at the top of 'he Temple Bar Memorial. 2. Who were the seventeen Bishops and Archbishops who were flung together into a tank at the Aquarium, and rescued, after some difficulty, by Miss Beckwith and the Assistant-Manager? And was this outrage repeated twice on v aturday ? 3. Tho following are the seven postJacobin Fmperors: Bradlaugh, Churchill, Rosset the First, Gosset the -econd, Gosset the Third, Marwood, Barry Sullivan. Give some account of the foreign policy of each, and say in whose reigns were introduced respectively, the compulsory " Wearing of h -in-armour on Sunday," "Trial by in-ture," «' County-court Hanging," and "' Shuksperian Readings to Convicts." ' Dp*oribp the falling of the r>uke of 'n Column by oHer of the Convention .r.. 1 ;, year.-- whs» it allowed (o Ik- in the : . . -r e • *■' "ppenm ? :;._.',;.■*!«» the following parage, and .. -"'"la'" ""i"> ;: ..■ niuai: ■•■. ■:-•' - !'i-:ifc day of ai-tion. The '-■-■■■ -'■-'- ' ■:. S'efore noon the House of ; ::...t. fhf Abbey, Somerset House, all ••"ii:.vv.ri!ir,i'nt offices, and five-and twenty [.■JAw buildings, shot up simultaneously u.-i> the nir in a thunder of exploding dynamite. Public feeling was somewhat apputtsed, but a little before three it was hinted that tbe National Anthem had been sung by some one at the Beeksteak Club. The place was surrounded. Only the secretary and the steward were on the premises, but they were taken to the Tower. They made their escape that night to North Woolwich Gardens. But King William Btreet was doomed. At a quarter-past eight the whole neighborhood was suddenly left a smoking ruin. It happened that the Polly Theatre had not long commenced its performance. The audience were dissatisfied. The temper of the times, however, was not one of compromise. Mr Toole refused to return them their money. The effect of this announcement was electric. The next morning three millions of people assembled at Charing Cross and thanked him publicly for "not having despaired of the Eepublic."»

6. Give the now historic words in whioh Mr Labouchere, on having the Dictatorship, together with the mace, Crown jewels, half the contents of the Bank of England, and the promise of a public funeral pressed upon him by a deputation, showed them the door, and referred them curtly to his solicitors.

7. Give some account of the last days of the House of Peers at Fiji. And (8) describe the gradual stages of the decline and fall of the British Empire, commencing with the passing of the Irish Land Bill, and culminating in the opening of the Isle of Dogs on Sunday.