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Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3113, 20 June 1881, Page 4

Greedy grocer to farmer's wife, who is supplying him with butter : " This pun' o' butter is ower licht, gudewife." Gadewifes " Blame yersel', then ; I weighed it wi' the pun' o' sugar I gat frae ye yestreen." Farmer: " Hillo, there ! Don't you know, you, that you're trespassing ? That aren't your land." —Little Lady : " I know it is not; but I havn't got any land of my own, and, you know, I must be on somebody's."

The Alabama paper says: " A lawyer in this State suspecting some one was peeping through the keyhole of his office door, investigated with a syringe filled with peppersauce, and on going home found that his wife had been cutting up wood, and that a chip had hit her in the eye." One day, just as an English officer had arrived at Vienna, the empress, knowing that he had seen a certain princess much celebrated for her beauty, asked him if it was really true that she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. " I thought so yesterday," he replied. The late Duke of Cambridge had a queer habit of thinking aloud, and particularly manifested this singularity during the performance of divine service. In the preliminary phrase from the pulpit, " Let u9 pray," he would had mutteringly and unconsciously "by all means," " very proper." He would respond to the commandment, ■ { Thou shhlt not steal," certainly not— very wrong to steal;" and "Remember that thou keep holy tho Sabbath day" received a commendatory response—" assuredly very right." It is recorded that on one occasion, when " prayers for rain " were about to be offered up, he exclaimed, "No use, no use ; the wind's easterly."