TWO WAYS OF TELLING A STORY.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3096, 31 May 1881, Page 4

TWO WAYS OF TELLING A STORY.

King James VI., on removing to London, was waited upon by the Spanish ambassador —a man of erudition, hut who had an eccentric idea in his head that every country should have a professor ot signs, to enable men of all languages to < understand each other without the aid of speech. Lamenting one day before the king this great desideratum throughout all Europe, the king, who was an outre character, said to him —-' Why, I have a professor of signs in the most remote college in nay dominions ; but it is at Aberdeen, a great way off —perhaps six hundred mileß from here." ' Were it ten thousand leagues off, I shall see him,' said tho ambassador, and expressed his determination to set out instanter, in order to have an interview with the Scottish professor of signs. The king, perceiving he had com mil ted himself, caused an intimation to be written to the University of Aberdeen, stating the case, and desiring the professors to put him off, or make the best of him they could. The ambassador arrived, and was received with great solemnity. He immediately inquired which of them had the honor to be ' Professor of Signs ;' but was told that the professor was absent in the Highlands, and would return nobody could say when. ' I will,' said ho, ' wait his return, though it were for twelve months.'

The professors, seeing this would not do, oontrived the following stratagem : —There was one Geordie, a butcher, blind of an eye, a droll fellow, with much wit and roguery about him. The butcher was put up to the story, and instructed how to comport himself in his new situation of ' Professor of -igns,' but he was enjoined on no aocount to utter a syllable. Geordie willingly undertook the office for a small bribe. I he ambassador Was then told, to his infinite satisfaction, that the professor of Bigns would be at home next day. Everything being prepared, Geordie was gowned, wigged, and placed in state, in a room of the college. The Spaniard was then shown into Geordie's room, and left to converse with him as best he could, the whole of the professors waiting the issue with considerable anxiety. Then commenced the scene. The ambassador held up one of his fingers to Geordie ; Geordie answered him by holding up two of his. The ambassador held up three : Geordie clenched his fist, and looked stern. The ambassador then took an orange from his pocket, and showed it to Geordie, who, in return, pulled out a piece of barley bread from his pocket, and exhibited it in a similar manner. The ambassador then bowed to him, and retired. The professors anxiously inquired his opinion of their brother.

'He is a perfect miracle.' said the ambassador j ' I would not give him for the wealth of the Indies.'

' Well,' exclaimed one of the professors, 'how has he edified you ? '

1 Why,' said the ambassador, ' I first held up one finger, denoting that there is one God ; he held up two, signifying that there are Father and Son ; I held up three meaning the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost ; he clenched his list to say that these three are one. I then took out an orange, signifying the goodness of God, who gives his creatures not only the necessaries but the luxuries of life ; upon which the wonderful man presented a piece of bread, showing that it was the stuff of life, ahd preferable to every luxury." The professors were glad that matters had turned out so well; and having got quit of the ambassador, they called in Gordio to hear hi 3 version.

'Well, (ieordie, how have you come on, and what do you think of yon man ?' ' 'the scoundrel!' exclaimed the butcher, " what did he do first, think ye ? He held ac finger, as much as to say, you have only ac cc ! Then 1 held up twa, meaning that my ane was as good as his twa. Then the fellow held up three of his fingers, to Bay there wero but three een between us ; and then I was so mad at him that I steeked my nieve, and wasgaun to strike him, and would hae done'fc too, but for your sakes. He didna stop there, but, forsooth, he took out an orange, as muckle as to say, { Your poor beggarly country eanna grow that!' I showed him a whang of a bere bannock meaning that I didna care a farthing for him or his trash neither, as lang's I had this! But by a' that's gude,' continued Geordie, ' Tm angry yot that I didna break every bane in his body.'

Could two sides of a story be more op posed to each other ?