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Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3090, 23 May 1881, Page 4

George Washington may have never told a lie, but ifc must be remembered that trout fishing and duck shooting were but in infancy when George was an able-bodied citizen. One of the most caustic replies was that of Mr Cnrran to a judge in a celebrated case. "If that be law, Mr Curran,' said Lord Clare, ' I may burn my law books." " It would be far better, my lord, to read them," was the rejoinder. " I now have something for a rainy clay," said old Mr M'Snifkin the other evening, as he entered the room and greeted his family. " A windfall, a windfall," sorearrfa! Mrs M'Snifkin, in an ecstacy -ex mental paralysis. " No, no." be responded, quietly, as he drew hy slippers from under the sofa, "its an umbrella."

There is a strain of sadness in the last bit of humor circulated by our American cousins : " The man in Indiana who paid an oculist ten dollars for putting his eyes in stich a condition that he could see as well by night as by day, was entirely successful; the only difficulty being that now he cannot see at all by day." Mistress, "As you'vo never been in service, I'm afraid I can't engage you without a ' character.' " Young Person, " I have three - School Board certificates, ma'am—" Mistress, " Oh, well —I suppose for honesty, cleanliness—" Young Person, " No, ma'am, for literation, joggr'phy, an' free 'an drawrin!"—Punch's Almanac.