TWO LIBERALS.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3088, 20 May 1881, Page 4

TWO LIBERALS.

" I was always a Dimmycrat," said one of a pair of tramps, as he sat on a curbstone driving a ten-peny through the toe of his boot to make the sole stick. " I voted the dimmycrat ticket since I was 18 years old, but if ony Republican was to win, I'm glad it's G-arfleld. Wot did yer find in the bar'i yonder ? " " Some pertaties. Why wos yer glad about Garfield ? " asked the second.

" Gimme one. I'm glad about Garfield 'cause he ain't no temperance fakir. I hear that he wos goin' fer to have wine at the White House dinners. The other bloke didn't have nothing but Selter water." " That's so," responded the second. " What this yer country wants is wine at the White House when they feeds," and the speaker bit a chunk off the potato. '' We don't want so much wetoes; we wants wine."

" I was told by Mike Caffery, at the wake last night, that the other fellow had wetoed the Fundin' bill. What his name agin?" " I don't know rightly. Yer means him as wos jist turned out for to pasture. What had he to do with it ?" " Nothin' at all. He had some lallygaggin' about the banks, and he says three cents apiece fer thim bonds is too much. Why don't he lave the banks to the people. Deed we'd look after them." " Better than him. Here s £?oold gone up to par in spite of him, and he to be honey fooglin' with the finances whin the coountry is prosp'rous. Will ye have another pertatie ?" " I will. I see we've to have great times with them telegraphers." " Wot's the matter with thim ?" " Didn't you hear Cassey tellin' about it ? They've bought all the poles, and divil a telegraph is there lift if yer was to want one." " Wot'll they do with 'em ?" " Hide tho wan of me knows. And it's worse with the railroads. They have 'cm all snowed in so you couldn't ride if you had the money." " Who did this ? Was it the felly wot's gone out ?" " Faith he had a feet in it, him and his wetoes. That's wot made the stocks go up, and that's wot kapes us poor," and he broke off the nail and clamped it underneath. " Bad scran to them all. The Dimmycrats wouldn't have done that." " Not they. Did ye hear tliat the Doochman had bate the Britishers ?" " I did not. Was it in Ireland ?" " It wos, and they killed GKneii Colic and pulled the legs off his troops." " And did they ? Well, now, they was in great luck. I suppose the Britishers wouldn't lave thim kape open their saloons after twilve o'clock."

" I don't know the rights of it only from Kinnifick. He says the Britishers wos tryin , to drive away their boars."

" It's good for them. Haven't they enough to do without sogerin' after the pigs?"

" I suppose very well they have. I'm told that Parnell is no longer ladin' the Irish."

" Wot happened him ?" Is he ladin' the Doorchmen ?"

" Faith, he's not. He's ladin' a quiet life, him and the rest. Are ye workin' now ?" " I'm not. How'd I work till the country's more settled ?"

" True for you ! Lave us go and stand back of the Coourt house till we'll hear the news. Casey have a couple of dollars and he'll set 'em up. Is there more pertaties in the bar'l ?"

"Divil a wan. How many d'ye wantj you've had foor ? Where did Casey get the money ?" " From the boss, I think." " Which boss ?" " Which boss ?"

"The both of them. A dollar apiece. Sure Casey is a politician. He have more of it in his head than all of thim put together."

" How many wotes was this Casey got whin he ran agin the Dootchman in Gowanus?"

" I don't know rightly. It was a matter of 400. He may as well had 3000, but the box was too small. He ran the same time of a man named Tilden, and I'm told they're both great men. Will that shoe do ?"

" 'Deed it will. Pity you haven't another tail tor your coat."

And the two statesmen wandered off to the Municipal Building to take a hand in the regulation of affairs.—Brooklyn Eagle.