MR SPOOPENDYKE AT THE SEASIDE.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3080, 11 May 1881, Page 4

MR SPOOPENDYKE AT THE SEASIDE.

" Now, my dear," said Mr Spoopendyke, as he stepped out of his bathing house and thumped on the door of the one occupied by Mra Spoopendyke, " are you ready ? We must hurry into the water and out again or •we won't get through in time for dinner." Mrs Spoopendyke emerged, bent almost double and shivering with the cold. "Isn't it rather chilly ? " she asked. " Not at all, Mrs Spoopendyke, not afc all ; the air is rather cool, but the water is warm. If yoxi are going with me you want to move along." As they reached the beach Mr Spoopendyke left his wife aud boldly strode into the surf. A wave broke over him, filling his'eyes, nose, ears, and mouth, and then he strode out. " Whafc'er ye standing there for, eh ? " he demanded. " What do ye take yourself for, a lighthouse ? Did ye come down here to take a bath' or are ye waiting for some ship to tie up to you ? What's the matter with you, any way ? " " I'm afraid of the waves," whimpered Mrs Spoopendyke ; " they're too big." •' Oh ! they're too big for you, ain't fchey ? " retorted Mr Spoopendyke. " Wait till I geh a man to saw off a little one. Better get measured for one to suit hadn't you ? It's the big waves you want, I tell you,, look here," and Mr Spoopendyke marched boldly into the sea again. He turned his face towards the shore and beckoned for his wife. Another wave caught him and landed him high and dripping on the beach. " Why didn't ye come when I called ye ? What d'ye want fco mako me walk all the way up here after you for? " shrieked Mr Spoopendyke. "Are ye waiting to be launched, like a ship ? Can't ye walk as far as that ? What are ye hoistiDg up the legs of your pants for ? They ain't skirts. Now look at me. See how I go in, and you follow me when I beckon to you. Watch me now." Mr Spoopendyke plunged in and swashed around a few minutes in safety, but the treacherous water was abiding its time. Another wave caught him and rolled him over, pumped itself into this stomach, drew him under, whirled him round, and finally deposited him, howling on the sand. " Got most ready to get in ?" he jerked out as he climbed up himself and assumed the perpendicular. " Think I am going to slam around here all day like a waterspout, waiting for you ? What did you come here for ? Find any fun standing there like a sodawater sign ? Why don't you get in the water, if you are going fco ? Come on now." " I am afraid," snivelled Mrs Spoopendyke. If I go in. I know I will be drowned." "No you won't get drowned, either. Can't you hold on to me ? What did you put on that Bhirfc and trousers if you meant to get drowned ? What are you doing around here ? Now, when I get in again, you come along or else you go home." Mr Spoopendyke plunged into the surf, but as he came up he missed the rope. For a second or two he sprawled around and then began to 7 X_ MT f S P OO P end yke eyed him a moment, and then her fears for hia overcame her fears for herself, and with a yell she dashed m and hauled him out by the hair. " Dod gast the water," choked Mrs Spoopendyke. " I'm full of the measly stuff. So ye got in, didn't ye? Let go my hair, will ye? Let go I tell ye ! What dye think you are, any way a steam barber's shop! Going to let go that hair some time ?" But frightened out of allreasonMrs Spoopendyke clung still and hauled Mr Spoopendyke to his bathinghouse. " Oh If I hadn't saved you," she sobbed. " Oh ; ye you saved me, didn't you sneered Mr Spoopendyke. " All you want is four air-tight compartments and two sets of those pins to be a patent life raft, going to let go of that hair?" And as she

released him they went to their separate apartments.