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Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3068, 27 April 1881, Page 4

A lady once banteringly asked Sheridan why the " O" was not prefixed to his name. " I do not know, your ladyship," replied the wit; " for, in truth, no family is better entitled to it, as we owe everybody."

It is rumoured that the late Sultan,.of Turkey wished to " unify the public debt," owe the whole amount to one man, and then cut off that man's head. That was the Sultan's notion, of a "sound financial system." The practical joke of a lively " My lady" who. cannot be out of mischief, says a London paper, was to fill the shower-bath of one of her admirers, at a country house they were staying at, with ink. Many lemons were used ere the ill-used one co uld put in an appearance. He bore it like an angel. Two friends were recently attacked by Indians in Arizona, and escaped on mules, though the arrows of tho savages whistled by them in flocks. One mulo being faster than the other, his rider sang out: —"Joe •why don't yon come along ?" —Jbe > who was . urging his mule along with desperate energy, replied, as an arrow graized his ear: —" Do 1 act like a man who is selling a race ?" A witness in a divorce suit kept referring to the wife as having a very retaliating disposition.—"She always retaliated for every little thing," said the witness.— " Did you ever see her husband kiss her ?" asked the wife's counsel. —"Yes, a great many times."—" Well, what did she do ■on such occasions?" —"She always retaliated, sir." —The wife's retaliative disposition didn't hurt her any with the jurors.

A theatrical manager who has a limited purse, and consequently a limited company, occasionally compelled some of the actors to "double up"—that is, play two or more parts in the same piece. " Lancaster," he said one morning, addressing a very serviceable utility man, " you will have to enact three parts in .'The Silent Eoe' tonight — Henderson, Uncle Bill, and the Crusher." " Can't do it," replied Lancaster; " and I hope to be sand-papered if I try." "You can't do it ? You won't doit! Why?" " Because it is impossible," returned the indignant actor. "No human being can play those parts at the same time. In the first scene of the third act two of them have a fight, and tho third fellow rushes in and seperates them."