AMUSING MISTAKES.

Daily Telegraph (Napier), Issue 3038, 22 March 1881, Page 4

AMUSING MISTAKES.

[chambers' jottenaj,.] Droll mistakes are of course endless. Here are a few culled at random :—

Before the Paris Exhibition was open to the public, and when the building contained only the cases which were being ranged for the respective exhibits, quite a crowd flattened their noses against the glass entrance , door to look at the contents of a case containing a pair of boots, a battered hat, an overcoat much tho worse for wear, and a necktie of many colours, the report being circulated that the objects belonged to King Dagobert, Kobespierre, or Charles X. The enigma was solved by a painter arriving and throwing oif his blouse and slippers, and commencing to dress himself amidst, what •was a puzzle him, loud laughter, in which the police joined.

The numerous instances of mistaken identity on record are constantly receiving new additions. There is an amusing account of a French lady who was very jealous of her husband, and determined to watch his movements. On one occasion when he told her he was going to Versailles, she followed him keeping him in sight until she missed him in a passage leading to the railway station looking about her for a few minutes, she saw a man coming out of a glove-shop with a rather overdres*-d lady. Making sure from the

distance that this man was her husband, she came suddenly up and, without a word of warning, gave him three or four boxes on the ear. 'J he instant the gentleman turned

she discovered her mistake, and at the same time caught sight of her husband, who had merely called at a tobacconist's and was crossing tho street. There wa3 nothing for it but to faint in the arms of the gentleman whose ears she had boxed, while the other lady moved away to avoid a scene. The stranger, astonished to find an unknown lady in his arms, was further startled by a gentleman seizing him by the collar and demanding what he meant by embracing that lady. " Why, she boxed my ears, and then fainted," exclaimed the aggrieved gentleman.

" She is my wife," shouted the angry husband, " and would never have struck you without a cause." And worse than angry "words would probably have followed bad not the cause of the whole misunderstanding recovered sufficiently to explain how it all happened. A London paper gave an account of another case of mistaken identity in connection with a distinguished personage. An aged couple in high life who were celebrating their golden wedding, by way of concluding the festivities on that occasion, adjourned with the children and their respective belongings to a theatre, iv which to accommodate so large a party two boxes had been knocked into one. The eldest son, who Btrongly resembles His Royal Highness the Prince of Wales, stepped forward and occupied the centre seat with the ladies of the party beside him, upon which the orchestra struck up the National Anthem and the audience rose to their feet en masse, the innocently unconscious party of course doing the same themselves.

There is no doubt that; people of rather unusual proportions had an awkward time of it when the claimant was at large. A story goes that a corpulent gentleman once took a box at the Canterbury Hall. First one person then another eyed him, until at length the counterpart of tho Claimant became the ccntro of observation. A cheer arose, the singing was suspended, and an ovation was tho result. The supposed Sir Eoger rose, and bowed his acknowledgment. But this was not enough. He must speak. The manager announced that "Sir Roger" had a cold, and could not speak. Fearing the consequence, if the audience discoverers their mistake, he had the "Claimant" removed as quietly as possible in a cab and sent in a roundaboute way to his homo.

The intoxicated bricklayer who squared Tip to a poet and maintained a one-sided fight, affords an absurd illustration of mistaken identity; but if -wo can rely upon newspaper reports, Eueh ludicrous incidents are surpassed by what is said to have happened in the "neighborhood of Morecombe. Some time ago the body of what was supposed by the discovered to be a human being was found lying on the beach, near the place above named, having undoubtedly been left there by the receding tide. The usual preparation for holding an orthodox inquest was put in force and kept going, until the examination of a medical man proved the suspected human corps to be but tho carcass of a monkey, which had probably been thrown overboard from some ship, and which so closely resembled in appearance a luiman being aa to requiro a doctor to tell tho difference. Such a mistake looks like a gross flattery upon a dead monkey or an unconscious satire upon human nature, calculated to delight all believers in the Darwinian theory.

A not unnatural mistake was that made by the policeman who arrested a Dublin youth under what appeared to be suspicious circumstances. Tho young gentlemen referred to was at a party in the Irish capital, and joined with great spirit in a game of forfeits. Amidst tho fun and merriment, it was proposed that to regain his forteifc he should pay a rieit to tho turf-

staofcs on the adjacent canal bank and bring some I'u-f into the room. Thinking only of tho diversion that his return with an armful of turf would create, ho immediately hastened to the place indicated, filled hi* arms, and was in tho act of returning, when to his horror, ho became awaro that a. policeman whs in pursuit. Almost with fright ho dropped his burden, and awaited the officer's arrival.

"0, constable," ho stammered, "I'vo been playing a game of forfeits, and was told to bring some turf from tho ctnnvl into the house."

" Not a bad story ; bub you'll have to como with mo," declared tlio constable.

Thero had been continued complaints of turf-plifering; so regardless of his protestations, tlio unlucky youth was locked tip for tho night. Tho' first intimation his merry-making friends received off his whereabouts was when next morning they heard that he had been explaining tho mistake to the presiding magistrate, who fortunately comprehended the caso in a moment, and dismissed it.

A misconception as ludicrous, hut in which a policeman figured loss creditably than the onco just referred to, took place in the Isle of Aran. At a Deemster's Court in Ramsay, a Jew was about to bo sworn to giro evidence. As .lews are always sworn on the Old Testament, and not tho new, the Deemster requested tho constable iv attendance to fetch an Old one. After a while that worthy returned and handed to tho witnea an ancient looking delapidated book, which on being examined proved to bo a New Testament. Tho Deemster's attention Ix'ing called to it, he asked tlio constable why he had not brought, an Old Testament, to which the innocent reply was : " Please your Honor, it was tho oldest one I could

find."

An amusing blunder' was once made by a dyer, who was given by a farmer four flannel shirts to be dyed a fast grey color; instead of which he dyed them blue. On. wearing the garments, the color came' out of tlum so that, as the farmer curiously expressed it "he looked like a Ked Indian ;" and as it cost him several shillings in baths to ttirn himself into a white man again, he sued the dyer, and obtained damages. An embarrasing incident we are told once happened to an Englishman in T!r»r!?. Entering one of the churches in that city, ac a service was going on, he sat quietly down placing his hat-on the ground bestd<? him. Some little time passed, and as there seemed no immediate prospect of the ceremony coming to an end, he reiciiod for his hat, in order to leave but was stoped by an unseen hand,whicb grasped him from behind. Thinking some custodian of the church, wished him to remain till the end of the service, lie again waited ; but his patience becoming exhausted, he again reached for bis hat, and again ho was prevented from going in the same manner. Convinced that the service was some really important one, the Englishman once more delayed his departure ; but at the expiration of a quarter of an hour he determined to go in spite of etiquette, so he repeated tho same manoeuvre in the direction of head-covering. A third time the same hand detained him ; but as he determinedly resisted its grasp, a voice behind him exclaimed in English: "I beg your pardon, but that is my hat you are taking." Such was the fact j he had been detained all this while because each time he had reached in mistake for the hat of another stranger placed in close proximity to his own. A mistake of an embarrassing nature made by a gentleman in London illustrates tho necessity of keeping a careful record of one's engagements. On the occurrence of a " grand day" at the Middle Temple, the Masters of the Bench were uneasy at the non-appearance of ono of the guests, a learned ex-judge. All had arrived but him, and the repast was ready to be served. His appearance was awaited with impatience; and after the lapse of half an hour, the limits of endurance were reached, and the dinner was served. The missing guest failed to appear. But next day it was ascertained that the learned gentleman had walked into the hall of the Inner Temple, and had dined with the bencners of that learned society, who had not invited him, and therefore had not made any preparation to receiva him. It did not happen to be " grand day "at the Inner Temple ; and the .unexpected guest never discovered his mistake until he happened to innocently observe to the Treasurer • " I thought this was your grand day !" The learned gentleman in question had originally been a student of theJCnner Temple, which accounts in some.measure for the mistake.